‘Hound’ Loses the Scent of the Mystery Tradition

Lovers of hounds and Sherlock Holmes won’t be pleased with Tim Kelly’s “Hound of the Baskervilles,” at the Long Beach Playhouse Studio Theatre. In this adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle’s tale, canines don’t appear and Holmes (Gary Page) is transformed into a pompous, infallible investigator with a bumbling Dr. John Watson (Malcolm Armstrong) as supposed comic relief.

The Baker Street legend’s faults and weaknesses give him part of his charm. When “The Hound of the Baskervilles” was published, Holmes had already been fooled by Irene Adler and in a later adventure asked Dr. Watson to remind him of “Norbury” should he become “a little overconfident” in his abilities.

Yet Kelly exaggerates Holmes’ powers of deduction to the point of parody. Where the original story had him guessing the general size of Mortimer’s dog, Kelly has him identifying the exact breed. Mortimer is now a woman (Gerry Fuentes). Holmes isn’t seen dashing about the darkened moors threatened by a legendary phantom hound that haunts the Baskerville family. Instead, Kelly’s tale takes place in the large, comfy sitting room of Baskerville Hall designed by Fernando Fuerte.

Kelly has changed the ending, but it’s in keeping with Holmesian tradition set in “A Scandal in Bohemia” and “The Yellow Face.”

Under director Darlene Hunter-Chaffee, this production fails to appeal. The English drawing-room genre depends upon charismatic characters. Page bites at his lines, carefully masticating each one before spitting it out. Armstrong plays Watson as denser than London fog. Together, they don’t have strong enough chemistry to carry off this intellectual buddy scenario, and neither character seems to have a sense of humor. As for the suspects, Terra Shelman makes a classy Laura Lyons and Sarah Holbert’s Kathy Stapleton convincingly skitters on the edge of madness.

This production is more casual dog walk in the park than suspenseful dog fight between good and evil.

* “Hound of the Baskervilles,” Studio Theatre at the Long Beach Playhouse, 5021 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach. Fridays-Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Jan. 14, 2 p.m. Ends Jan. 20. $15. (562) 494-1014. Running time: 1 hour, 35 minutes.

Relationships Don’t Compute in ‘3 x Falk’

Instead of multiplying by three, “3 x Falk” at the Company of Angels might have been better served by division. All three one-acts, by Stephen Falk, have a bitter pessimism that goes unsweetened by sharp wit or fresh perspectives.

In the amateurish “Speed the Bough,” a dysfunctional Hollywood family snorts cocaine and swills booze while waiting for the alcoholic father (Brad Blaisdell) to return with Christmas presents. Sister (Genevieve Zweig) and Brother (Zack Graham) are young, sleazy teens who’ve dabbled in some friendly incest. When Father arrives, he’s brought some religious zealots (Byrne Offutt and Bonnie Leigh) from a money-grubbing organization.

Falk has nothing particularly new or funny to say about nouveau religions, and his too-long piece is also too loud under the weak direction of Scott Cain.

Another of the one-acts, whose title can’t be printed in a family newspaper, deals with a reunion of high school “friends” with voracious, angry appetites who prey on each other. Director Kyle T. Heffner elicits some sympathetic performances, most notably from Becky Meister as the malicious, once-popular Cassie. Cassie cannot reclaim the power and prestige she had in high school, but continues using her high school MO--nastily humiliating her female friends and having sex with the men.

Director Christine Brent can’t manage to make any cohesive sense of the experimental “The Coldest War.” In this confused tale, a dysfunctional family morphs into different realities--none of which is particularly charming or meaningful. The references to Anton Chekhov’s “The Three Sisters” make you long to be in another theater seeing that play, and the reference to sibling incest makes one wonder if Falk’s intention is to titillate or repel.

All three pieces need to be reworked and edited. The words keep coming long after the message has been delivered.

* “3 X Falk,” Company of Angels Theatre, 2106 Hyperion Ave., Silver Lake. Tuesdays-Wednesdays, 8 p.m. Ends Jan. 31. $12. (323) 883-1717. Running time: 2 hours, 35 minutes.