A Beautiful Place to Spend Golden Years

Art Thiel of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer writes that the prospect of San Francisco 49er legend Jerry Rice signing with the Seattle Seahawks just adds to the city’s reputation as a haven for aging athletes:

“Seattle sports fans have extensive experience in taking on another city’s institutions that wish to come to a peaceful career death in this region’s bucolic pastoralness. In that regard, Rice will fit seamlessly.

“The current best example is Patrick Ewing, who at 38 is the same age as Rice and who also left a major market after many years of success to join a troupe of wandering jesters [the SuperSonics]. . . .

“Rice is clearly not the athlete he was. Then again, that appears to be something of a requirement for athletes coming to Fossilburg.”

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Trivia time: What is the individual record for three-point field goals in a men’s NCAA Final Four game?

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Get him a chauffeur: Carl Everett of the Boston Red Sox missed the team bus to an exhibition game Tuesday, for the second time this spring, skipped a workout the next day and was fined.

Steve Buckley of the Boston Herald calls the outfielder “C. Everett Kook” and warns, “If you bet any money on these guys to win the World Series, you’re in Everettland: You’ve missed the bus.”

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Don’t try again: Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle:

“According to Ad Age, TNT considered placing heart monitors on the wives of drivers as part of an effort to enhance the ‘drama’ of NASCAR broadcasts.

“The idea was discarded after it was poorly received at a news conference. TNT, of course, stands for ‘There’s Nobody Thinking.’ ”

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No hoop haven: Buck Harvey of the San Antonio Express thinks new Texas Tech basketball Coach Bob Knight is going to have trouble recruiting because the state isn’t stocked with blue-chip talent:

“Texas is the second-most populous state behind California, according to the latest census figures, yet we produce fewer basketball players a year than Shawn Kemp does.”

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Still useful: The Baltimore Orioles--or rather the club’s insurers--will pay Albert Belle the remaining $39 million on his contract, now that a hip ailment likely has ended his career.

Wrote Bill Scheft in ESPN the Magazine: “It’s not as bad as it sounds. Cal Ripken gets to use him for spare parts.”

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Selective club: Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel says that the vast majority of players on the PGA Tour are staunch Republicans. He quotes a golf insider as saying, “There are more Czechoslovakisans in the NFL than there are Democrats on the PGA Tour.”

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Hasn’t lost it: Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Rickey Henderson is optimistic about his Padres. ‘I don’t believe we ain’t going to win.’ The Rickster can still turn the double negative.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1975, UCLA defeated Kentucky, 92-85, in the NCAA championship game. It was the 10th title for the Bruins and retiring coach John Wooden.

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Trivia answer: 10, by Freddie Banks of Nevada Las Vegas against Indiana in 1987. Indiana won, 97-93, before defeating Syracuse, 74-73, in the championship game.

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And finally: Vlade Divac of the Sacramento Kings, after he lost one of his upper teeth when he caught Shaquille O’Neal’s elbow in the fourth quarter of the Kings’ 108-84 rout of the Lakers on Wednesday: “I get three stitches, no tooth, and a win. I’ll take that trade.”