THE TIMES’ RANKINGS

Chris Dufresne’s Top 25 College Rankings and Comments

1 MIAMI

(6-0) Jimmy Johnson and Howard Schnellenberger fighting over who gets to ride shotgun on the Rose Bowl float.

2 NEBRASKA

(9-0) Baseball geeks note Cornhuskers are three games ahead of Miami in the win column.

3 OKLAHOMA

(7-1) Injury report on quarterback Jason White as puzzling as that “Boomer Sooner” horse-and-buggy routine.

4 STANFORD

(5-1) Is Rankman nuts to think two wins over top-five teams should put you in the top five?

5 TEXAS

(7-1) Longhorns settle into saddles to watch BCS contestants knock one another out of national title race.

6 FLORIDA

(6-1) “Visor Advisor” warns Spurrier to lay off refs and resume yelling at his QBs.

7 OREGON

(7-1) Onterrio Smith breaks school rushing record held by NBC guy who considers MJ a dear friend.

8 UCLA

(6-1) Oh, well, Bruins still have a piece (coaches’ share) of that 1954 national title to hang their helmets on.

9 WASHINGTON

(6-1) Phone us the next time the Huskies don’t win game on a last-second field goal.

10 MICHIGAN

(6-1) Pretty sneaky how Wolverines slipped past Washington in those other polls, huh?

11 WASHINGTON STATE

(7-1) Faulty TV windshield wipers prevented Rankman from seeing end of Oregon game.

12 TENNESSEE

(5-1) Those Col. Sanders jokes involving the Gamecock mascot were completely uncalled for.

13 BRIGHAM YOUNG

(8-0) Team’s 50-point-per-game average could exceed Wisconsin basketball team’s 2001-02 average.

14 FLORIDA STATE

(5-2) With a little coaching and some luck, this could become a top-10 program.

15 MARYLAND

(7-1) One day, players can tell their grandkids about the 14-0 lead they blew against Florida State.

16 NORTH CAROLINA

(5-3) Coach set to release new book: “The Art of (John) Bunting.”

17 ILLINOIS

(6-1) Center Luke Butkus hopes inspired play will get him a part on uncle Dick’s terrific show, “Hang Time.”

18 SYRACUSE

(7-2) Team orders ahead for stone crabs in rapt anticipation of Nov. 17 game at Miami.

19 VIRGINIA TECH

(6-1) Hokies treated for rope burn after descent from Rankman’s top-10 treehouse.

20 PURDUE

(5-1) We hear Drew Brees is secretly phoning in his favorite plays from San Diego.

21 GEORGIA TECH

(5-2) Two overtime losses from being one of the top peaches in this week’s BCS standings.

22 SOUTH CAROLINA

(6-2) You see Holtz going nuts on the sidelines vs. Tennessee? He looked like the school mascot.

23 TEXAS A&M;

(7-1) On this week’s show, ESPN devotes an episode to a campus oil well that has gone dry.

24 MISSISSIPPI

(6-1) Forget all of the “Eli’s Coming” hype. Eli Manning has arrived.

25 GEORGIA

(5-2) Name of annual game against Florida changed to “World’s Largest Outdoor Kick Tail Party.”