Stopping the Bullies at All Ages

From nursery schools to nursing homes, bullies are everywhere.

They’re portrayed in popular culture--Nelson Muntz (https://nelsonmuntz.hypermart.net) from “The Simpsons” for one--and in news stories of kids snapping after years of torment.

And it’s not just here. Apparently, bullying is a pervasive pastime in Europe: French students are being offered insurance against bully attacks. And the majority of bully-related sites originate in Britain. Maybe all those years of colonization have had an effect on the national psyche.

The Brit site Kidscape (https://www.kidscape.org.uk) offers teachers and parents suggestions on how to handle all kinds of bullies. The site also gives kids a bunch of information on keeping safe.

British anti-bullying charity Bullywatch (https://www.bullywatch.com), which has a lot of the same information, includes a list of famous people it says were bullied as kids. Posh Spice, Prince Charles and Kevin Costner are among them. The site also has online games, although it’s not clear what “Tetris” has to do with bullying.

Among U.S.-based sites, the Safe Culture Project (https://www.safeculture.com/iowa.html) includes a downloadable “inventory of wrongful activities” to help assess what children may be experiencing. Along the same lines, the checklist at the National School Safety Center (https://www.nssc1.org) can help parents and school administrators take notice of students who display the listed characteristics, and possibly prevent harm to other students. The attributes range from a history of tantrums to cruelty to animals and mood swings.

A recent movie, “Bully,” chronicles a true story of fatal retaliation in Florida. At https://www.bullycentral.org, you’ll find the details and can add tales of your own torment.

At https://www.safechild.org/bullies.htm, you can find a breakdown of what counts as bullying. The site says that if your child is the picker, don’t blame him or her--focus on appropriate behavior.

A child’s tormentor might not be on the schoolyard. This abusive influence could come from the backyard. If you suspect a child is being bullied by a relative, go to https://www.childabuse.com for advice on how to help.

Suffering under someone abusing power isn’t just the domain of youth. As the downtrodden masses of the overworked know, bullies do grow up and go to work. See the Workplace Bullying Site (https://www.workplacebullying.co.uk).

Workplace bullying, according to a Wayne State University study, is an experience that four out of five employees--23 million people--deal with at some point during their careers.

Find out about worker rights at https://www.aclu.org/issues/worker/iswr.html on issues such as drug testing, electronic monitoring and lifestyle discrimination.

If workplace bullying escalates to criminal behavior, go to https://www.eeoc.gov for guidance.

But maybe it’s the government, not the boss, you think is out to get you. The Internal Revenue Service often is painted as a government-sanctioned bully (although the tax agency has been trying to be kinder and gentler). Read and post IRS horror stories at https://www.neo-tech.com/irs-class-action, but the link to e-mail congressional representatives is dead.

To do more than just complain about tax trouble, check out the Taxpayer Advocate Service (https://www.irs.gov/ind_info/advocate.html). Get an independent personal advocate and read about taxpayer rights.

After having endured torment from the playground to the unequal playing field, some people face yet more suffering in the final years of life. Although nursing homes can be pleasant and comfortable, there have been incidents of elder abuse.

Definitions of elder abuse vary from state to state but range from physical to psychological. Find explanations and reporting information at https://www.elderabusecenter.org.

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Michelle Maltais is a broadcast producer and copy editor at The Times.

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