LAUGH LINES

Under the Weather: “Have you seen this ad on TV for a drug that gives new hope for social anxiety and then the announcer says, ‘Possible side effects include sweating, constipation and sexual problems.’ I’m no doctor, but if you’re really anxious, how relaxed are you going to be if you’re sweating, you can’t go to the bathroom and you’re impotent too?”

(Jay Leno)

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Nothing Special in the Air: “In travel news, business travelers have been expressing their dislike for the cost-cutting measures being taken by the major airlines, particularly the suspension of meal service on many flights. That leaves only the guy next to you and the in-flight movie to make you sick.” (Ira Lawson)

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In the Ring: “A new female birth-control device was approved recently by the FDA. It’s a ring that’s left in place for three weeks at a time. Do you think that will work? Most people in this town can’t keep a ring on their finger for three weeks at a time.” (Leno)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.