Rules of the Road to Keep the Whole Family Safe--and Sane

The kids are transfixed by the passing scenery. Dad willingly asks directions so that he doesn’t get hopelessly lost. No one fights over the radio station, the middle seat or the last piece of bubble gum. The car is pristine--not a smashed pretzel or spilled drink in sight.

Unfortunately, a real family road trip is rarely as pleasant. We’re never prepared for the reality--the preschooler who wails as soon as he’s buckled into his car seat, the motion-sick 10-year-old, the sullen teen, the never-ending chorus of “I’m hungry,” “I have to go to the bathroom,” “How much longer?”

If you want to see real shellshock, check out any traveling family as they stagger into their fifth fast-food restaurant.

The good news is that these trips give us plenty to laugh about, often for years and years. (If you have any good road tales, send them to me, and I’ll use them in an upcoming column.)

Maybe the kids will take off their headphones and talk to you more than they have in months. Maybe, without as many distractions, you can focus on what’s really going on with them. Being trapped together in an automobile can be just the thing to remind you of what you love about one another.

Whether we adore road trips or dread them, we’re all going to have plenty of company on highways, interstates and country lanes this summer. Most upcoming vacations in America (close to 85%) will take place by auto, truck or RV, the Travel Industry Assn. reports. Twenty-five percent of leisure travelers say they’ll travel more by car this summer than last.

Here’s how we’re going to survive:

* Safety. No matter how much they protest, make sure the kids are properly buckled into safety seats, booster seats (for children 40 to 80 pounds) and seat belts. In 1998, 1,765 children 14 and younger died in motor vehicle crashes, and in 1999 an estimated 272,000 were injured, according to the National Safe Kids Campaign. Set a good example by always buckling up yourself. Don’t let kids younger than 12 ride in the front seat. More than 100 children (including infants in safety seats) have been killed and many others injured by deployed air bags. And, of course, never leave the children alone in a hot car. For more child auto-safety tips, visit the National Safe Kids Campaign Web site at www.safe kids.org. And check the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration Web site at www.nhtsa.org for advice on buying and using safety seats.

* Offer rewards. That might mean the promise of time at the hotel pool, a visit to the next town’s big playground or the chance to choose tonight’s restaurant. If the going gets really rough, offer to buy the kids a souvenir at the next stop. If you stay at certain hotels, the souvenirs come free with the room. At Embassy Suites, for example, kids get a Jimmy Neutron (an animated movie character) pack with a rocket-shaped camera, two-way sunglasses and a toy version of Jimmy’s robot dog, among other items. Rates for two-room suites, including breakfast, range from $79 in Phoenix to $289 in Puerto Rico; call (800) 362-2779 or visit www.embassysuites.com. Radisson Hotels offer a giveaway for parents and kids: Parents get a room upgrade and free breakfast for four, and kids get a “Spy Kids 2” pack that includes snacks, a “How to Be a Spy” activity book, colored pencils, a camera and more. Rates start at just under $100 in some parts of the country; book online at www.radisson.com/gosk2 and save an extra 10%, or call (800) 333-3333.

* Take the pets. The kids will focus on their furry friends rather than on how much longer the trip will take. The newly revised “Traveling With Your Pet: The AAA Pet Book” lists more than 10,000 properties that welcome pets. That number represents about a third of all AAA-rated lodgings.

* Find boredom busters. This is a must. Younger kids will stop whining if they can choose a new, wrapped (and inexpensive) toy, book or game from a big grab bag. My husband and I used to dole them out to our kids during cross-country trips whenever we entered a new state. Part of the fun for the kids is trying to figure out which package to grab.

* Find electronic boredom busters. Older kids enjoy hand-held electronic games. Or surprise the gang by renting a VCR for the trip so the kids can watch their favorite movies. Survive the Drive will deliver one to your door; call (800) 573-6018 or visit www.survivethedrive.com. (The company is sold out through July 4 but will take reservations for rentals after that.) Ten-day rentals are $99. Portable DVD players are also available. Just be careful about where the kids try to use them in the hotel. I know one kid who broke a hotel TV while trying to hook up a DVD player.

* Get a travel diary. Just don’t force the kids to fill one. “That will feel too much like school,” says author Carol Westin, whose latest book, “Melanie Martin Goes Dutch,” is a funny fictional diary of a 10-year-old’s adventures in Holland with her family. Older kids could turn their adventures into fiction too. Ask your local children’s librarian to suggest other books about traveling families or books that are set in the region you plan to visit.

* Exercise. One dad I know insists that the kids run around the minivan several times whenever they stop. Another looks for miniature golf courses. I stash a soccer ball, football, baseball gloves and balls within reach. A pickup game at a park is guaranteed to help your gang meet some other vacationing kids--and improve everyone’s mood after hours in the car.

See you at the highway rest stop. I’ll be the one chasing the fly ball.

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Eileen Ogintz welcomes questions and comments from readers. Send e-mail to eogintz@aol.com.