Chicago Fingers Its Bullpen Acquisition

The Chicago Cubs’ acquisition of pitcher Antonio Alfonseca from the Florida Marlins “gives the Cubs a historical monopoly,” said ABC radio’s Keith Olbermann. “The pitching ace of their last world champions (1908) was Mordecai ‘Three Finger’ Brown. Alfonseca has six fingers.”

In fact, Alfonseca has six toes on each foot and six fingers on each hand. His nickname is “Pulpo,” Spanish for octopus.

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, former Marlin Manager Jim Leyland coined a memorable phrase: “Hey, Pulpo, give me six!”

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Trivia time: Who holds the Final Four two-game record for rebounds?

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Was it worth it? Aileen Voisin of the Sacramento Bee commenting on Michael Jordan’s latest comeback with the Washington Wizards: “[It] made terrific sense, were Jordan returning to the Lakers, Kings, Spurs, Blazers or even the Jazz, where his minutes would be limited and the club’s championship prospects enhanced....

“Yet here are the Wizards today. Injured. Outmanned. Unlikely to reach the playoffs. And here is Jordan today. He has a bum knee and a bruised marriage. He has a lousy team. He needs this?”

Of course, Jordan did score 34 points Friday night against Milwaukee.

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What’s up doc? Cincinnati Red pitcher Jose Rijo, when asked about power-hitting teammate Adam Dunn: “He might be like Bugs Bunny someday. He might hit a ball and break it in half.”

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Bearing up: After months of research, Memphis’ NBA team has a permanent nickname: Grizzlies. Officials assumed fans would want a new nickname after the club’s relocation from Vancouver, but no other name came close to the support enjoyed by the Grizzlies.

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Did he do it? On the basketball court, 40-year-old John Stockton is all business. Off it, he can be a joker. Sean Deveney of the Sporting News said when the Utah Jazz was still flying commercial, an airport security guard pulled Stockton aside while the team was boarding a plane and said, “Hey, look, there’s Karl Malone.”

Replied Stockton: “Think I should get an autograph?”

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Easy to do: Buffalo Bill quarterback Alex Van Pelt, picking the Oscar winners for buffalobills.com, said of Will Smith’s performance in “Ali:” “Smith got a lot of credit for putting on 30 pounds. Big deal, Will, I do that every off-season.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1975, UCLA defeated Kentucky, 92-85, at San Diego for the men’s NCAA championship. Retiring John Wooden coached his final game, leaving with a record 10 NCAA titles.

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Trivia answer: Bill Russell of the University of San Francisco, 50, in 1956.

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And finally: Reuters reports that an Australian firm has unveiled an electronic shark repellent that attaches to a swimmer’s ankle and emits an electronic field to ward off sharks. The anti-shark unit weighs one pound and has a battery life of two hours.

The electric field affects the shark’s nervous system through sensitive receptors near its snout. An initial mild discomfort increases as the shark approaches until it causes intolerable muscle spasms.

Question: Does the shark sneeze?

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Mal Florence