And He’s a Real Animal on the Field

Craig Hill of the Tacoma News Tribune writes that Marquis Cooper is tough enough to play linebacker for the University of Washington, but he’s not nearly as intimidating as his roommates: Meet Hoss, Red and Vic Damone Jr.

“Hoss is an 11 1/2-month-old brown pit bull who leaves Cooper’s side only when Cooper is playing football or attending class.

“Red is a red-tailed boa constrictor.

“Vic Damone Jr. is a ball python named after Chris Tucker’s character in the comedy ‘Money Talks.’ ”

Trivia time: Who is the Pacific 10’s winningest football coach in conference games?

Rap time: In St. Louis, the 0-4 Rams are being roundly criticized by fans and reporters. Jeff Gordon of the Post-Dispatch quotes one reader as saying: “Nice to see the Rams’ offense hasn’t let the postal rate increase keep them from mailing it in.”

And another St. Louis fan: “Question: Why was Mike Martz upset when the Rams’ playbook was stolen? Answer: Because he hadn’t finished coloring it.”

Really, a game of inches: For the past three years, high school football players who played at Vigilante Stadium in Helena, Mont., had a tougher challenge than they realized. The first-down chains that are supposed to measure 10 yards actually were 10 yards six inches.

The error wasn’t noticed until the second half of the season-opening game between Helena Capital and Missoula Hellgate last month.

Get a map, guys: Minnesota Twin first baseman Doug Mientkiewicz to the San Francisco Chronicle after starting pitcher Brad Radke and two other teammates mistakenly took the BART to Berkeley instead of Oakland before Game 1 against the Athletics on Tuesday.

“We’ve had guys go to the Astrodome, where they don’t even play games anymore,” he said. “We’ve had guys go to Shea Stadium when we were playing at Yankee Stadium. You realize we haven’t got the smartest group of guys.”

Confining: On ESPN radio, Green Bay Packer kicker Ryan Longwell says quarterback Brett Favre hates wearing a chin strap.

“Sometimes Brett has the chin strap off before the pass is even completed to the receiver.”

Blind leading the ... : People magazine says Anna Kournikova is teaching boyfriend Enrique Iglesias how to play tennis.

Jay Leno asks, “Isn’t that like learning how to play football from the Cincinnati Bengals?”

Trivia answer: UCLA’s Terry Donahue, 98-51-5, 1976-95.

And finally: Jerry Greene of the Orlando Sentinel notes that Monday is the 86th anniversary of the rout of routs, Georgia Tech’s 222-0 victory over Cumberland University. The Tech coach was John W. Heisman, whose name is attached to the Heisman Trophy.

“Cumberland’s longest gain was 10 yards on a pass. Unfortunately, it was fourth and 22 at the time. In the final period, Cumberland would receive a kickoff--and just punt it back to the [Yellow] Jackets without running a play....

“Cumberland dropped football afterward [thank goodness] but did start back in 1919. Immediately after the game, Heisman put his team through a 30-minute scrimmage.”