Airline Thought of Almost Everything in ‘Comfort Kits’ for Stranded Seniors

A cruise-ship group, flying back to L.A. from Europe, missed a connection and had to spend an extra day in Paris. No tragedy, obviously, but the passengers’ luggage had been sent ahead. So when the airline put them up in a hotel room, it had to supply them with “comfort kits.” The passengers, mostly senior citizens, were surprised to open the packages and find that they contained not only such essentials as toothbrushes and soap, but also condoms.

One passenger quipped that if the airline “was going to give senior citizens condoms, they should have given us Viagra, too.”

Dueling ads: Betty Fuhrmann of Thousand Oaks saw a listing for a 22-bedroom La Quinta mansion that, if full, would have some pretty crowded bathrooms in the morning. Too bad the occupants couldn’t live next door to a Studio City estate that seems to have nothing but bathrooms (see accompanying).

Dueling directionals: As if driving in Southern California isn’t enough of a challenge, Christine Lovett of El Cajon found some arguing signs at an intersection (see photo).

Aren’t they worried about yellow teeth? Garfield Finley of Hawthorne noticed a marquee that could give passersby the wrong dental impression (see photo).

Three little words: My discussion of history’s shortest commencement addresses brought a note from Ralph Saltsman, who heard Richard Moore’s classic speech of a decade ago.

“It was at Crossroads High School in Santa Monica and took place on asphalt between buildings and below basketball hoops,” wrote Saltsman, who was attending daughter Jessica’s graduation.

“Innumerable speeches preceded Mr. Moore. The sun was blazing and the temperature was intolerable.

“When he rose to speak, he paused, looked out over the audience with great presence and said, ‘Feelings.’ He paused again and continued to gaze out over all assembled. Then, with feeling, he said, ‘Adventures,’ and paused again before concluding with ‘Ideas.’ ” And that was it -- three words of wisdom from Moore, then president of Santa Monica College.

Said Saltsman: “It’s the only graduation address I know verbatim.”

miscelLAny: Colleague Penny Love and my old boss Dick Barnes each report seeing a fellow who believes honesty is the best panhandling approach. His sign, at the 1st Street offramp of the 101 freeway, says “Why lie? I need a beer.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.