They’re Not Touting the Company Line

Which of the following outrageous statements was not actually uttered during ABC’s Thursday night telecast of Game 5 of the Stanley Cup finals?

a) “It’s 2-2. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. Four goals in one period.”

b) “We’re due for a goal, aren’t we? It’s been about a minute-and-a-half.”

c) “It’s 4-3 Devils in what is a wild, wild, wild full moon-type game.”

d) “Kariya shoots! Kariya scores!”

Unfortunately for the Ducks and their supporters, d) hasn’t been uttered by anyone, anywhere, since the start of the biggest series in the career of Paul Kariya, Duck captain and $10 million-a-year player.

Kariya’s disappearing act has become not only a key storyline in the finals, but also an interesting media study.

Through the first four games, most local writers and broadcasters tended to cut Kariya slack, largely because he’s well-liked by the Southern California media and considered something of a good soldier who weathered the bad times in Anaheim, remained loyal to the franchise when he could have signed elsewhere and accepted the less glamorous demands of Coach Mike Babcock’s dump-and-grind defensive system.

So, we’ve read and heard the following rationale for Kariya’s offensive drought: He’s a marked man. Scott Stevens won’t allow him a free moment. He might be playing hurt. It’s the system. It’s the new NHL, where nobody scores 50 goals anymore.

Outside the Southland, criticism of Kariya has been harsher, much of it leveled by commentators who once hung the Next Gretzky millstone around his neck and really hate being proven wrong. It never was a fair comparison, considering Gretzky’s extroverted personality -- and Kariya’s lack thereof.

When Kariya leads, it is mainly by example. It is telling that Jean-Sebastien Giguere, not Kariya, delivered the cage-rattling words that snapped the Ducks out of their early-series doldrums.

Still, the NHL media look at Kariya and see that $10-million salary and remember the 50 goals he scored in 1995-96 and tag the Duck captain with such labels as “AWOL Paul,” as one Canadian writer did this week.

All of this has posed a dilemma for the hockey announcers at ABC and ESPN, who receive their paychecks from the same employer as Kariya. These Stanley Cup finals are essentially a Disney production, starring Disney’s team, featuring Disney’s sportscasters, with the Devils providing the obligatory foil/villain.

When the biggest star in the Disney troupe falters on the main stage, how are the Disney-paid broadcasters supposed to respond?

To their credit, the ABC-ESPN analysts haven’t looked the other way. Barry Melrose, candid throughout the finals, said before Thursday’s Game 5 that it was time for Kariya to step up.

“I think somebody on the Ducks, a star, has got to score,” he said. “Kariya and [Petr] Sykora are the two stars. They’re the [Ducks’] best players offensively. They’re two of the best players offensively in the world.

“They’re not getting any points for the Ducks. They haven’t got a point in the finals.

“Now, can the Ducks win the Stanley Cup without a Kariya getting a goal? I don’t believe they can.”

Reporters Sam Ryan and Brian Engblom addressed the issue. Ryan repeated Babcock’s assertion that Kariya is playing “a key role” despite not scoring by doing the dirty work the Ducks’ system requires. Engblom noted that “everybody [on the Devils] runs him when they get the chance” and praised Kariya for his first-period assist -- his first point of the finals.

“He stuck his nose into the tough area,” Engblom said, “and finally gets it to pay off for him.”

ABC also tried to have some fun with the situation, dispatching Melrose to “Angela, the Meadowlands Psychic” to see if the cards had anything better in store for Kariya.

Angela’s verdict?

“He’s going to give us a little bit more than we expect,” she said. “I think he’s going to be so strong and a positive player for this game.”

Well, he did have that one assist.

But beyond that, there wasn’t much, Kariya’s first tangible offensive contribution getting lost in the mire of a 6-3 Duck defeat.

Shortly as the final horn sounded, John Davidson recited Kariya’s final stat line: “In three games here in New Jersey this series, one shot on goal. And that was in Game 1. [The Devils] have done a great job on the Ducks’ captain.”

If nothing changes Saturday in Anaheim, you don’t need a psychic to tell you the Ducks’ season ends Saturday.