Marlins Need Own Version of Code Red

The Florida Marlins have Mark Redman, a left-handed pitcher, and Mike Redmond, a catcher.

So, Redmond said, “How do you screw it up?” Let us count the ways.

Redmond’s photo has been used in the newspaper, identifying him as the next day’s starting pitcher; a Redman baseball card had Redmond’s photo; gloves sent to Redmond had Redman’s name stitched into them; bats received by Redman were stamped with Redmond’s name. Both are nicknamed “Red.”

Fortunately, they’ve only formed the battery once. And there was the time that Redmond, No. 52, pinch hit for Redman, No. 55.

We’re safe for now, though. Redman is on the disabled list because of a broken left thumb.

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Picture this: While Redmond was batting in a game in Philadelphia earlier this year, Redman noticed his own photograph was up on the scoreboard, misidentified as that of the hitter’s.

“I was rooting real hard for him,” Redman told Associated Press. “I mean, if they’re going to use my picture, c’mon Mike, get a base hit.”

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Trivia time: If David McDavid closes the deal to buy Atlanta’s basketball Hawks and hockey Thrashers, he will have what in common with at least five other pro sports owners?

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Sole searching: If you think shoes promoted by NBA stars are expensive, consider the ones worn by 1950 World Cup star Obdulio Varela of Uruguay.

A pair of Varela’s shoes have been auctioned for $1,300 -- and promptly donated back to the Uruguayan soccer association.

Uruguay President Jorge Batlle has declared the shoes and a jersey historical monuments. And they don’t even have a swoosh.

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Sports models: On-line business columnist Jeff Wuorio chose Arnold Palmer, Cal Ripken Jr., Mia Hamm, George Steinbrenner, Lance Armstrong and Tyrone Willingham as the top sports personality “role models for business owners and those who aspire to run a business.”

He also chose three -- David Wells, Pete Rose and Mike Tyson -- “no business should emulate.”

Of Tyson, Wuorio wrote: “Where to begin. How about not taking the phrase, ‘Eat your opponent alive’ literally?”

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Trivia answer: He’s a car dealer, as are Larry Miller of the Utah Jazz, Red McCombs of the Minnesota Vikings, Wayne Huizenga of the Miami Dolphins and Bud Selig of the Milwaukee Brewers. Tom Benson of the New Orleans Saints also had a chain before selling a few years ago.

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And finally: The Philadelphia Phillies, who are responsible for the demolition of Veterans Stadium after the baseball season, are hoping to cover the costs by selling pieces of it.

Season ticket-holders have already received letters from the team offering them first dibs.

A pair of uncomfortable, plastic blue seats goes for $280. And just in time for the holiday buying season, the club will auction other stadium parts in late November or early December.

Not everybody is buying it.

Phillie fan Jack Tomalis told Associated Press: “Having something from the Vet would be like having a recording of my fourth-grade teacher, Sister Gertrude Anne, yelling at me because the creases in my pants weren’t sharp enough.”

Nope, he’s not scarred.