Here Are a Few Tired Statements to Peruse

You have to admire anyone willing to try the Ironman Triathlon, let alone compete for a spot on the podium. Blood, sweat and tears are impressive ... especially someone else’s.

That said, the California fitness magazine Competitor collected a sampling of 20-plus observations from athletes over the years, lending some firsthand perspective to the sweatfest, which celebrated its 25th anniversary Saturday in Hawaii.

* “The crosswinds were so bad, I saw this one age-grouper get blown across the road on his bike, over the guardrail and out into the lava fields,” said Peter Reid of Canada, after the 2000 race.

* “To win here, you have to be good at everything. Hawaii has its own law,” said Natasha Badmann.

* “If God is going to take me, don’t wait until the bike or the marathon. Do it early, do it during the swim,” said Bill Bell.

Bell is 80. Badmann has won four times, and Reid, 34, notched his third title Saturday.

Trivia time: Who was the MVP of the St. Louis Cardinal-Milwaukee Brewer World Series in 1982?

Skirting the issue: National pride is at stake when Scotland faces the Netherlands in a soccer playoff next month for the 2004 European Championships.

Midfielder Dean Gorre of Barnsley is backing his Dutch countrymen, and he has sufficient faith in them to throw down the challenge to some of the Scottish lads on the Barnsley squad.

“Basically, I think Scotland have no chance of beating Holland....

“If Holland lose the playoff, I’ve promised to wear a kilt for an entire week, in training and everything,” Gorre was quoted as saying on the BBC Sport Web site.

“And if Scotland lose, then the Scottish boys will have to wear clogs!”

Child’s play? Curses, of course, are not limited to the sport of baseball. Tim Kawakami of the San Jose Mercury News unearthed one related to football, the truly scary Chucky’s Revenge:

“Origin: Jon ‘Chucky’ Gruden, leaves for Tampa Bay, destroys Raiders’ confidence in ensuing Super Bowl, keeps grimacing.

“Result: Al Davis’ Raiders fall to bottom of the pack.

“Unintended consequence: Gruden’s good friend and main pupil, Rich Gannon, suffers most in his absence.

“Unintended beneficiary: Dennis Green, if Davis decides a coaching change is necessary.”

Trivia answer: Darrell Porter of the Cardinals.

And finally: San Francisco Chronicle columnist Scott Ostler, on Nick Van Exel’s unwillingness to return phone calls:

“And it’s not as if Van Exel returns calls selectively. If he won’t call back Jerry West or Mark Cuban, he’s not going to call back the pope, or the governor of California.

“In fact, you get the impression that the bigger and more important the caller, the more Van Exel isn’t going to return the call.

“He has discovered that a person’s greatness can be defined by the stature of the people he or she does not call back.”