In Case Your Child’s Portrait Isn’t Picture-Perfect, You’ve Got Options

Will Rogers of Glendale noticed that an order form for school portraits informed parents they could pay extra for “soft impressions

Fine, except the form was for his 8-year-old’s third-grade class.

Said Rogers: “By high school, I suppose they’ll be offering Botox shots.”

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Guide to Adventurous Dining: Today’s specials du column (see accompanying) include an eatery where panhandlers’ hours are regulated (submitted by David Tilton of Santa Barbara) and an ad for a chicken with a complicated personality (Nicole Payne of Long Beach).

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Going down? The crime log of the Aliso Viejo News carried a complaint about a transient “who took up residence in the elevator of the parking structure” next to a theater complex.

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It takes all kinds: A real estate ad that could be interpreted as a pitch to those who cherish an unimaginative lifestyle (see accompanying) caught the eye of Hank Rosenfeld of Santa Monica.

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No softening here: Charles Hansen of Corona chanced upon a “welcome” to Santa Ana that seemed to warn visitors not to stay too long (see photo).

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Connection terminated: Writer John Morgan Wilson read in The Times’ restaurant-closures list a mention of trendy Schatzi on Main for “unsafe food temperatures” and “serious/repeated violations or interfering with inspector.” Wilson wondered whether this could inspire “a Gray Davis attack ad ... Schatzigate!” Afraid not. Arnold no longer operates the restaurant.

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You-Think-You-Have-Problems Dept.: The crime log of the Huntington Beach Wave reported that “a resident told police he ‘was fit to be tied’ because kids were blowing kazoos at 6:25 p.m.”

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miscelLAny: Are California’s finances in this much trouble? A colleague saw a sign in the frontyard of a Burbank house that said: “State Sale.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles CA 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.