Hurry Up & Rd Ths

Did everyone miss the 50th birthday of color TV? In 1954, RCA began assembling color sets not in China or Myanmar but in Indiana. It was a fascinating novelty -- the TVs, not Indiana. Neighbors from the next street found reason to knock and, oh my goodness, you’ve got a color TV! That color appliance didn’t catch on for nearly 15 years, partly because each one cost $1,000. That’s like $1 million or something now. Multihued TV was another modern invention -- like color refrigerators, microwaves, cellphones, power windows and sticky notes -- that initially intrigues but seems hardly necessary until, quite soon, adults realize their very survival depends on it. Today, who’d buy black-and-white but for Buster Keaton movies? What’s indispensable next -- TiVo, intuitive TV remotes, breeding mistake-free pets?

This just in. Now comes creeping another quiet change, not a thing but a speaking style. Call it Half-Speak. Or H-S. Short info bursts. No extra words, No extraneous syllables. Not even xtra letrs. Verbs gone. Right? Hastiness most obvious on radio, TV, esply Fox News. (Insert word-free Whoosh sound here.) Sports too: “Rounding third base Williams is.” Say what? Backward run phrases till reels the head. Like this Yoda speaks. Also electronic mail. Now e-mail. Saves three syllables. Acronyms big too: OK always. Now, BTW, LOL, other e-abbrevs enable frantic multi-tasking plus message arrivals one or two nanoseconds sooner. Nanos add up u no.

All why? Americans impatient listeners, viewers, readers. Move on.

Think H-S in history, future. Hundred Years War down to five. Bible shorter -- fewer kings, disciples, Commandments, begats. Less Canterbury Tales. Henry James’ sentences one page long. Hemingway’s a phrase. Clifs Notes for Cliffs Notes. Road projects done next day. Election campaigns start now, end by noon. Speeches, sermons here and gone like bank tellers at lunchtime. Editorials also shorter. Like this one.