Whoever Wins Rose Bowl Will Have a Song in Their Heart

By Bill Plaschke

Jan. 1, 2004 12 AM PT

‘Hail! to the victors valiant.... “

Stop, oh please, just stop.

“Fight on for ol’ SC.... “

Enough, man, have you no mercy?

And so today they meet again, on the same field for the first time in 14 years, relentless, unwavering, impenetrable.

In one corner of the Rose Bowl, the constant drone of “The Victors.”

In the other corner of the Rose Bowl, the incessant bleating of “Fight On.”

Forget the teams, the real duel is between the fight songs, the two best fight songs in sports, meaning they are the two songs most likely to make you run down to IKEA and picked up a starter guillotine because you CAN’T GET THEM OUT OF YOUR HEAD!

Michigan comes to town with “The Victors,” written in 1898 by a music student while carousing one night through the Ann Arbor streets.

USC arrives, of course, with “Fight On,” written in 1922 by a dental student while hanging out at a pub.

That they both possess the genetic makeup of drinking songs could be one reason for their greatness.

Another reason is that they have accompanied so many dramatic moments over so many years, they have become like regional national anthems.

John Philip Sousa said that “The Victors” was one of the best marches he had ever heard, which is like hearing Pete Carroll approve your caffeinated beverage.

“Fight On” was once blared by the Navy over ship loudspeakers during an attack of a Pacific island in World War II, presumably used as both inspiration and inhumane torture.

Both songs are powerful. Both songs are enduring.

Both are better than Notre Dame’s song because, well, you never hear Notre Dame’s song after the middle of November.

Both are better than another familiar fight song, because “On, Wisconsin” is where USC and Michigan usually sit.

So which one is better?

I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may incapacitate me.

My wife is a graduate of Michigan. She sang the song in her dorm. She hummed it on the way to class. We were engaged at an Ann Arbor restaurant called “The Victors,” where somebody played the song on a harp while I was popping open the little plastic capsule and handing her the ring.

That she married a sportswriter speaks to the, um, intelligence of Michigan graduates. That she will be attending today’s game wearing a John Navarre jersey speaks to how I should probably just shut up now.

So we’ll ask the experts.

In one corner, Bill Studwell, a music historian from Bloomington, Ind. He has written two books about college fight songs, approximately two more than anyone thought possible.

“The Michigan song is better,” said Studwell in a phone interview this week. “It’s very proud, very dominant, while the USC song is more playful.”

In the other corner, Milo Sweet Jr., the son of the late composer of “Fight On.” He is 62, he lives in San Pedro, and did you know that every time the song is played on network television, his music corporation receives a royalty?

Yeah, probably the one guy who thinks they don’t play the song enough.

“The USC song is something you can go to battle with, and we proved that,” he said, pausing, chuckling. “The Michigan song is a wonderful song to hear while sitting around the Christmas tree.”

The Michigan song was written by a fine fellow, Louis Elbel, who later became a teacher in, of all places, South Bend, Ind.

The USC song was written by a dude who was a Trojan all his life.

Milo Sweet was a dental student and former vaudevillian who wrote the song for a student contest. While playing it in a piano in the pub, he was joined by a stranger, Glen Grant, who offered to write the words.

The song was entered and promptly finished ... second. And you thought the BCS was crooked.

But the students protested, it was named the winner, and the rest is Sweet history.

Milo Sweet became a successful orthodontist who remained close to the Trojan family, honored often, even though it turns out that he also wrote one of the early fight songs for UCLA.

“But it’s not one they use anymore,” said his son.

At the recessional of Sweet’s crowded funeral in 1980, the organist played “Fight On.”

This Christmas, his son and wife Barbara passed out toy Trojan horses to each of their 18 grandchildren. Instead of neighing, the horses played “Fight On.”

“All of the kids, running around the house, playing the song all Christmas day, it was hilarious,” said Sweet Jr. “I loved it.”

Michigan named an athletic field after Elbel, who wrote the song while following the team during a parade through town after a big victory over the University of Chicago.

But USC has a live landmark in Sweet Jr., as he still attends the games and says, “Fight On,” when he hangs up the phone.

“The problem with the USC song is that they play it too much,” Studwell said. “It seems like they play when they score, when they don’t score, when they feel good, when they feel bad. Many people feel it’s overdone.”

But, countered Sweet Jr., that’s part of its charm.

“If you are a Trojan, it’s great,” he said. “If you are on the other side, you hate it.”

OK, so musically, the two songs are hard to distinguish.

But lyrically, it’s no contest.

Though Studwell claims that words in a fight song are rarely sung and therefore often irrelevant, “The Victors” contains one voluminous presumption.

The main verse concludes, “Hail! Hail! to Michigan, the champions of the West.”

Excuse me?

When the song was written in 1898, California was a state and USC had a football team and maybe Mr. Elbel needed a map?

“He wasn’t ignoring you,” Studwell said. “He was probably looking for a one-syllable word there, and ‘Midwest’ didn’t sound right.”

Fine, whatever, that’s probably the same excuse those Midwest voters give when they ignore the West Coast in the Heisman voting.

There’s one more problem with the Michigan song. It can be found in a simple phrase that, by nightfall today, will have become a glaring, glorious error.

The title.

Bill Plaschke can be reached at bill.plaschke@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Plaschke, go to latimes.com/plaschke.

(Begin Text of Infobox)

THE VICTORS

Hail! to the victors valiant

Hail! to the conqu’ring heroes

Hail! Hail! to Michigan

The leaders and best

Hail! to the victors valiant

Hail! to the conqu’ring heroes

Hail! Hail! to Michigan,

The champions of the West!