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A Claim With Dubious Hex Appeal

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I hate to start out on a negative note, but I thought you’d want to know: The crime log of the Huntington Beach Independent said, “Florida Street: A woman reported that someone was casting a spell on the United States at 10:47 a.m.” Quite a claim, especially so early in the day. Now I could understand if she were saying someone was casting a spell on the Lakers...

Guide to Adventurous Dining: The items du column (see accompanying) include:

* A foreboding wine list -- talk about casting spells! (submitted by David Ashkenaze of Laguna Beach, who points out the name should be “Doon”).

* A restaurant that enables diners to wash at the table (from Dick Kraft of Whittier).

* And, for dessert, an Eduardo Abaroa sculpture titled “Ancient vs. Modern (Mastodon with Yellow Cupcakes),” on display at the UCLA Hammer Museum. No sampling allowed!

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Tough pill to swallow: John Anderson of Santa Maria saw what could only be described as a super-sized medicinal aid (see photo).

The assemblyman formerly known as...: Debates in the state Assembly have become more colorful, points out political reporter Will Shuck of the Stockton Record, since the majority Democrats dusted off an old rule banning the use of members’ names during floor debates.

Assemblyman Dennis Mountjoy (R-Monrovia), annoyed by the protocol, referred to Assemblyman Rick Keene (R-Chico) as “the member whose name rhymes with clean.” On another occasion, Mountjoy said, “I disagree with the member from San Diego with the obnoxious necktie” -- a reference to Democratic Assemblyman Juan Vargas (D-San Diego).

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Blowing smoke: Cigar Aficionado magazine ranks Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger No. 15 among the 20th century’s greatest cigar smokers, behind such notables as Winston Churchill (No. 1), George Burns (No. 4), Jack Nicholson (No. 12) and Groucho Marx (No. 12). The governor edged out Whoopi Goldberg (No. 19).

Of course, Schwarzenegger can move up in the rankings for the 21st century, since many of the above individuals are no longer with us.

And any complaints Schwarzenegger’s wife, Maria, might make about cigar smoking “can be parried with a quick reference to her dad,” the magazine said.

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Father-in-law Sargent Shriver introduced him to cigars, Schwarzenegger claims.

The former bodybuilding champ once pointed out, “You can always say, ‘Look, honey, your father wouldn’t have introduced me to something that’s bad.’ ”

And Schwarzenegger claims he’s not a politician ...

miscelLAny: Ruth Ryon, author of The Times’ “Hot Properties” column, reported that actor Dennis Weaver’s 10,000-square-foot residence in Ridgway, Colo., is for sale for $4.25 million, and it includes four llamas, “available at no extra cost.” Which prompted my old colleague, Doc Johnson, to recall an old Ogden Nash ditty: “A one-L lama is a priest, a two-L llama is a beast, a three-L lllama is a conflagration.” Don’t be “alarmed” if you didn’t understand the last one.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATimes, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.

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