Metro’s Motto Not for Board

Writer Steve Herbert points out that the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, which wants to be billed as the less-clunky Metro these days, has a billboard that says, “Life is too short for long names. Go Metro.” And no offense meant to MTA board Chairman Zev Yaroslavsky.

Nor to board members Mike Antonovich, Antonio Villaraigosa and Yvonne Brathwaite Burke.

Weird science: Diane Podegracz noticed that the heat took its toll on one high school’s gauge Monday (see photo). Even stranger, Podegracz said that when she first drove by, about 90 minutes earlier, the marquee read 138 degrees.

Weird science (cont.): The highest temp I’ve seen appeared on a gauge snapped by Carl Zitek several months ago (see photo). I’m pretty sure that figure was also inflated, even if it was in San Bernardino.

Unclear on the concept: Mystery novelist Wendy Hornsby spotted a mysterious “Do Not Disturb Occupants” sign at a location where any occupants would figure to be four-legged (see photo).

Something smells here: On a trip to Alaska, Bob Finsten of Palm Springs snapped one company’s not-so-reassuring guarantee (see photo).

A new approach? I’ve published no-parking signs that contained threats to mangle the vehicles, if not the owners. Betty Barnett of Pomona saw a sign in one neighborhood that seemed to be using a calmer, moral argument. “No Fair Parking,” it said. Of course, the fact that it was adjacent to the County Fair might have had something to do with the wording.

Talk about binding arbitration: Barnett also said she was relieved to see that the ex-grocery strikers weren’t being shackled on their jobs, despite the headline on one settlement story: “Chains ready for clerks’ return.”

Name game: “One of the better UCLA swimmers of the early ‘60s was Dan Drown,” noted Stan McConnell of Rancho Palos Verdes. “He was also a member of the 1964 U.S. Olympic water polo team (where drowning one’s opponents is part of the game).” Drown, by the way, should not be confused with an Olympic swimmer from USC: Jeff Float.

Mondegreen of the Day: Michelle Weisenberg of Orange admits that she thought one line in the Bee Gees’ “How Deep Is Your Love?” was “And you come to me on a submarine.” Said Weisenberg: “It turns out the lyrics are, ‘And you come to me on a summer breeze.’ I like my version better; it’s more adventurous.”

miscelLAny: The proposal by state Sen. John Vasconcellos to give teens one-quarter of a vote at age 14 and half a vote at age 16 in state elections is, of course, ridiculous. The hazards are obvious. The first thing you know, they’d help some star of action films get elected governor.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012.