Dodgers Find It Tight Around the Dog Collar
Walking the Dogs all the way to the finish line....
SAN DIEGO -- Well, here we are on a beautiful scoreboard watching night with the Choking Dogs in Petco Park, and isn’t that appropriate.
I want to be there for them every minute the rest of the way, so with the magic number standing at 11 to eliminate the Giants and seven to put away the Padres, the final stretch began here Tuesday
3:30 p.m. -- Hee-Seop Choi is the only Dodger on the field, and he’s running back and forth across the outfield like he wants to stay in shape. I guess he understands his only chance of making the playoff roster is as a pinch-runner.
4:10 -- Starting pitcher Jeff Weaver, a.k.a. “The Flake,” walks by a TV and notices the Yankees are playing, and Esteban Loaiza, the Jeff Weaver of the Yankees this year -- booed by one and all -- is pitching. He watches with fascination.
4:31 -- Milton Bradley shows up and puts on a CD that he made of loud, unintelligible, so-called music. “What is that?” I asked. “It’s Nelly,” he said. “That’s a girl’s name,” I suggest and ask if he has ever listened to Barbra Streisand? We don’t seem to be on the same wave length. “The song you just heard,” he said, “was ‘The Game.’ ” And so his first name is “The?” I ask. Milton is very nice. “You’re probably 20 years too old to appreciate it.” He was off by 10 years, but I’m not complaining.
5:09 -- Manager Jim Tracy says Wilson Alvarez might miss his start Thursday, which means possibly resurrecting Kaz Ishii. The news could have been worse; he could have said he was going to resurrect Hideo Nomo.
6:03 -- Dinner with Vin Scully. I suppose I could have joined Stu Nahan but I hate it when other people eat off your plate.
7:10 -- Jayson Werth triples over the head of centerfielder Jay Payton. Steve Finley would have caught it had the Padres been successful in trading for him. Adam Eaton goes to 0-and-2 on Adrian Beltre with two out, just as Colorado reliever Shawn Chacon went on Shawn Green on Sunday in the ninth inning with the Rockies leading by a run. But it seems like everyone wants to help the Dodgers this season. Chacon threw a fastball down the middle and Green hit it 422 feet. Eaton lays one in for Beltre, who tries to knock down an advertising sign beyond the left-field wall. The Dodgers lead, 2-0, on Beltre’s 46th home run, and the way the Padres play in this park -- hitting .254 compared to .290 on the road, they’re finished.
7:12 -- The Astros go ahead of the Giants, 2-0, in the top of the first. Do you think the Boston Parking Lot Attendant will spring for champagne or will the players have to pour bottles of Arrowhead water over each others heads?
7:31 -- The Giants respond with three runs in the bottom of the first. You know the Parking Lot Attendant won’t buy champagne unless he reaches an understanding that he can get his money back if it’s not used.
7:52 -- The scoreboard offers a wild-card update to make the Padres feel worse than they already do. The Giants lead, 4-2.
7:53 -- Dodgers have runners on second and third with Bradley at the plate. “Oh, Nelly,” he strikes out for the second time.
8:04 -- The Padres put two men on in the third, no one out and Eaton can’t get a bunt down. Imagine what Bill Parcells would do if he was managing this team. On a 3-and-2 pitch to lightweight leadoff hitter, Ramon Vazquez, Vazquez hits a ball that sails over the neon lights on the scoreboard in right displaying his .227 batting average. It’s a three-run homer and gives the Padres 3-2 lead.
8:24 -- Werth doesn’t play the fence correctly on Rich Aurilia’s double, allowing slow-poke Ryan Klesko to score from first for a 4-2 lead. The Giants just went ahead of the Astros, 7-2. Make that 8-2 Giants. That sound you hear is the Choking Dogs gasping for breath.
8:40 -- Finley is now hitless in his last 19 at-bats. He’s helping the Padres after all.
8:45 -- I notice the A’s have lost, but the Angels are losing, too. I’m guessing Jose Guillen is hitless. The Angels are already building extra seats in the press box for the playoffs. A team can dream, can’t it? A Dodger spokesman said the team would wait until the season is over before beginning similar construction -- just in case, I guess, they don’t have to spend the money.
8:50 -- The Flake just delivered a cream puff to Ramon Hernandez, who devoured it, powering a three-run homer to left to build the Padres’ lead to 7-2. Remember, Weaver is the ace of the Dodger staff. San Diego scored again. Is there a rule against piling on?
9:02 -- If the Dodgers lose this one, they’ll be 18-18 since Aug. 14 -- five of those wins coming against the scrubs from Arizona. Playoff baseball?
9:17 -- There’s no quit in these Dodgers. They’re now going to Jason Grabowski and Choi. The Padres say “Thank you.” Grabowski and Choi strike out.
9:34 -- Finley is now 0 for 20. Beltre follows with his 47th home run to pull Dodgers within four runs of the Padres. Do you believe in miracles? Hey, the Dodgers are in first place.
9:47 -- A Mark Loretta homer for the Padres is followed by news the Giants won. It’s a good thing the Dogs rallied for two wins in Colorado, or they would have fallen out of first place tonight.
10:00 -- The Dodgers’ 7 1/2 -game lead on Aug. 11 is now 1 1/2 over the Giants after losing to San Diego, 9-4. The Choking Dogs apparently know how to roll over and play dead.
*
TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail -- sent twice -- by Gardy Achille:
“After reading what you have to say for years I finally realize that you’re the bigest idiot ever.”
I believe “bigest” should be spelled “biggest.”
*
T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.
More to Read
Go beyond the scoreboard
Get the latest on L.A.'s teams in the daily Sports Report newsletter.
You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Los Angeles Times.