He’s Story of the Year ... Without Playing

The year is barely half over, but Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle promises that Barry Bonds will run away with the honors for “weirdest story of 2005.”

“It’s the simple story of an injured knee that hasn’t healed quickly,” Ostler wrote. “Then you add the Bondsian touches: the strange setback because of a rare infection, the dark curtain of secrecy draped over the rehab by Bonds, his dramatic news conferences and unannounced drop-in visits to his teammates, the specter -- now gone -- of Bonds testifying at the BALCO trial, the guilty plea of Bonds’ personal trainer to a steroid rap, Bonds’ continued working relationship with the trainer, the Giants’ meltdown, the specter of trouble with the government over tax evasion and money laundering, the mistress thing.

“Wrap all that around the greatest slugger in history, closing in on the biggest record in baseball, fighting Father Time, and you’ve got yourself an ongoing saga of strangeness that nobody can top.”

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Trivia time: How many tries did it take Joe DiMaggio to get into baseball’s Hall of Fame?

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Priorities: Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post writes that among the hundreds of e-mails he receives every week are a dozen or so from Europeans whining about Tampa Bay Buccaneer owner Malcolm Glazer’s taking control of the Manchester United soccer team.

“One guy even asked me if there was something I could do about it. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I was just trying to make deadline so I could make the second half of happy hour.”

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Stacking the stats: Counting statistics amassed during overtime in college football is “officially ridiculous,” according to Patrick Hruby of ESPN.com. “Four years ago, Eli Manning threw for six touchdown passes in a single college game. Five of those touchdowns came over the course of seven overtimes -- and all of them counted equally in the record book.

“Lumping regulation and overtime statistics together is absurd. Should FIFA count penalty kick shootout goals toward individual totals? Should the NCAA tally yards gained on two-point conversions?

“Face it: The current college system makes as much sense as counting points scored in layup lines.”

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Staying humble: Milwaukee Buck guard Michael Redd told SI.com after landing a $90-million contract: “To me, I’m the same person I was five years ago when I was making $700,000.”

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Trivia answer: Three. Really. Explains Phil Pepe, a regular contributor to the website of YES Network, which owns TV rights on all Yankee games:

“In 1953, two years after he retired, DiMaggio was eighth in the voting, being named on 44.32% of the ballots. In 1954, he was named on 69.44% of the ballots, finishing fourth but 14 votes short of election. Finally, in 1955, DiMaggio was named on 88.84% of the ballots and was inducted.”

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And finally: “Kobe Bryant has been given his own logo on his Nike shoes,” Channel 9’s Alan Massengale said. “Nike has had trouble marketing Kobe’s image, but Coach Phil Jackson says forget about the past. The coach believes this new logo will be a big success if everybody works unselfishly.”