When It Comes to Historical Accuracy, ‘Zorro’ Misses the Mark

The makers of “The Legend of Zorro” have performed something of a hatchet job on one period of American history, points out film historian Rick Mitchell. The movie is set in California in 1850, yet there are references to the “Confederate Army” and glimpses of soldiers in Confederate uniforms -- a decade too early.

Not only that: When the governor of California signs statehood papers at an official ceremony that year, who comes west to tell him, “Welcome to the Union”? None other than Abraham Lincoln, who, in reality, was a rather obscure Illinois attorney at the time.

“I know that most people have no sense of history today,” Mitchell said, “but that’s really pushing it.” Perhaps the movie should be rated “R” for wrongheaded.

Telephone turkeys: I went over to my sister’s for Thanksgiving, and we had just sat down to dinner when the phone rang. It turned out to be a telemarketer. Even Thanksgiving isn’t safe! I couldn’t help thinking -- fondly -- of the Halloween display of Rich Turner of Long Beach (see photo).

Not-a-Drop-to-Drink Department: At a rest stop near Barstow, Joel Goldberg found what I guess you’d call a non-drinking fountain (see photo).

This water doesn’t sound very yummy either: You’d have to be pretty darn thirsty to be attracted by the sign over one L.A. building housing a laundromat and a bottled-water business (see photo).

Human dogfights: The L.A. Daily Journal says that more and more pet custody cases are winding up in the courtroom. Skirmishing between divorced couples over their animals has reached these extremes:

* “A wife stole the family dog from her estranged husband, hid it at a friend’s house and claimed it had run away.”

* “A husband spent thousands of dollars on gifts so the dog would prefer him.”

* A man “smeared meat on his hands so the dog would greet him and not his spouse” -- a tactic often used in the courtroom when a judge is trying to determine which human the animal prefers.

The Daily Journal said that couples about to be married are increasingly signing agreements that stipulate who gets the pet in the event of a divorce.

The agreements are called “pre-pup-tials.”

miscelLAny: In the lost-in-translation category, Bill Bunyan of Venice noticed that the directions for an electronic clock made overseas included this tip: “Embezzling sleep: Open or close down embezzling sleep alarm.” Guess it’s for someone who wants to steal some extra minutes of sleep.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.