More pepper, please

Welcome to dinner. Oh, and by the way, if you compressed the world’s population into 100 representative people, 80 would live in substandard housing, 70 would be unable to read, six would own 59% of the world’s wealth, and all of those would be from the United States. Wine, anyone?

Find your place card and take a seat, it’s going to be a bumpy night -- otherwise known as the West Coast premiere of Theresa Rebeck and Alexandra Gersten-Vassilaros’ gastronomic, nerve-racked post-9/11 comedy “Omnium Gatherum,” at the Will Geer Theatricum Botanicum in Topanga.

Martha Stewart-esque Suzie (Ellen Geer, who also directs) has gathered a collection of Manhattan luminaries for a feast of fellow- and one-upmanship. They’re all fictional, of course, so feel free to ignore that the boozy Brit, Terence (William Dennis Hunt), sounds like vowel-rich journalist Christopher Hitchens; that Roger (Alan Blumenfeld) sells red-blooded patriotic thrillers in the vein of Tom Clancy; and that the melancholy Middle East scholar Khalid (Navid Negahban) recalls the elegant Edward Said. Add an African American woman of the cloth (Earnestine Phillips), a prickly vegan (Melora Marshall) and an earnest firefighter (Mike Peebler or Aaron Hendry), and you have a recipe for sophisticated contention.

But this party isn’t quite what it seems. A long dinner table stretches across the Botanicum’s spacious stage, and the guests all face forward in a tableau that brings to mind the Last Supper in every sense. What’s with those low-flying planes we keep hearing, and those bursts of sulfurous steam hissing under Suzie’s front door? After all, she’s so rich she has her air flown in.

“Omnium’s” deliciously creepy setup promises plenty of outrageous pleasure. But far from New York’s insistent skyscrapers, and embraced instead by Theatricum Botanicum’s majestic eucalyptus trees, this production (a little rocky on opening night) has the diffuse feel of a picnic. Its aura is more delightedly anthropological than wickedly satirical.

That said, the play itself, a finalist for the 2004 Pulitzer Prize, is tough to get hold of. The first hour feels like channel-surfing; the guests talk like sound bites instead of characters, despite strong work from Phillips, Negahban and Blumenfeld in particular. They rant about everything -- imperialism, status bathrooms, PETA, sex, Israel, “Star Trek,” misogyny -- but say nothing. This “Omnium” isn’t a tart argument play, you think, but a soggy mille-feuille of hit-or-miss one-liners.

Yet that’s much the point. To chatter is human, to be consistent divine -- maybe even dangerous. “Here’s to discrepancies,” one guest toasts. Indeed. We are each of us “omnium gatherum,” a collection of peculiar selves. Multitaskers par excellence, humans seem to be able to consider the dilemmas of globalization while simultaneously helping ourselves to more roasted corn relish and pondering our next sexual encounter.

But it’s these petty self-absorptions -- our cherished food allergies, our slights from critics -- that reveal not only our limits but possibly our salvation. Our frailties and appetites ultimately unite us. The house is brought to a reverent hush by Terence’s hypnotic memory-monologue of eating a sublime creme brulee -- a transcendent moment, the playwrights seem to argue, perhaps no less important than firefighter Jeff’s recollection of how it rained people on that fateful September morning.

“Omnium Gatherum” doesn’t find its real drama until the dessert course, when Suzie, ever the trendsetter, serves up a surprise guest (Amro Salama). The stranger turns the table, and then ultimately finds a place at it, in a terrific theatrical reversal. But is it too late? Is this really a dinner party on the Upper East Side, or is it at a more infernal location -- much hotter, and certainly not accessible by cab?

As images of fresh horrors in Lebanon and Iraq arrive hourly, rendered all too digestible by our wireless-enhanced laptops and high-definition television screens, it’s no wonder we shut them out. There is an old Arab saying that even if your worst enemy arises at dawn and comes to your house to kill you, you must first offer him an excellent breakfast.

Rebeck and Gersten-Vassilaros don’t stop there. They prepare a five-course meal with a choice a wine. It’s a peace process we can all get behind.

*

‘Omnium Gatherum’

Where: Will Geer Theatricum Botanicum, 1419 N. Topanga Blvd., Topanga

When: Contact theater for schedule

Ends: Oct. 7

Price: $8 to $25

Contact: (310) 455-3723 or www.theatricum.com