The jury’s out on this excuse

Here’s a unique reason for avoiding jury duty:

Gone fishin’ with (not for) Big Tuna.

That was the reason cited by Fox football analyst Jimmy Johnson in asking to be excused from serving at a Key West federal court, according to the Miami Herald.

Johnson told U.S. District Judge James Lawrence King that he had a houseguest -- Bill Parcells -- and that they were spending quality time together fishing ... and possibly comparing horror stories about working for Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones.

Don’t laugh. It worked.

King accepted the excuse -- just as he did another from a woman who said she had to care for her disabled brother.

“We accommodate people,” King said.

So, after signing a couple of autographs, Johnson was off -- and back on -- the hook.

“A very humble guy,” U.S. Attorney Ben Daniel said.

Attorney Charles Milligan noted that Johnson “didn’t have his hair as bouffant-ed up.”

Hmmm ... A humble man sans bouffant? Are they sure it was really Johnson?

Trivia time

Since the Lakers moved to Los Angeles, which Western Conference team has most often eliminated them from the playoffs?

He might be on to something

Johnson’s excuse having worked, just imagine ...

Kobe Bryant: “Shaq, Phil and I have rented a cabin and we’re going to reminisce about the good times.”

Brady Quinn: “My cell phone could ring any second.”

Al Cowlings: “I have to drive O.J. to the airport.”

He had poor posture, too

As if Quinn’s NFL draft day wasn’t tough enough, now he has fellow Notre Dame alum Joe Theismann giving him etiquette tips.

Theismann was miffed because, among other things, Quinn was chewing gun on stage after finally being drafted by the Cleveland Browns. And it wasn’t because Quinn hadn’t brought enough for the whole draft class.

” ... you don’t go to a job interview chewing gum,” Theismann said during an interview on ESPN radio. “And I felt like he could have presented himself in a much more professional manner. It looked like his tie was the first time he ever tried to tie one. It looked like his hair, he had just walked out of a shower, and he stands there, relieved as all get-out, chewing gum ... “

A little harsh, sure. But it was probably the only chance Theismann will have to analyze a Quinn performance seeing as how he has been booted out of the Monday Night Football booth.

Shell game

The Minnesota Twins announced plans for a “peanut-free” environment in the right field Skybox section of the Metrodome, a concession to those allergic.

And yes, that makes them the first to have a non-peanut gallery in the grandstands.

Patrick Klinger, the team’s vice president of marketing, told the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, “If you’re allergic to peanuts and you’re trying to enjoy the game and the gentleman next to you is eating that bag of peanuts, it could be fatal.”

The Twins will have the peanut-free zone during four games this season. Allergic fans attending the other 77 do so at their own risk.

Trivia answer

Phoenix, which has done it four times. Houston and San Antonio each has jettisoned the Lakers three times.

And finally ...

Reading Coach Steve Coppell was left a tad perplexed Monday when, during his team’s Premier League soccer game against Newcastle United, the referee ejected his team’s mascot. Apparently, the official believed the mascot was a Reading player.

“I can see where the referee was getting confused, you know he does look like so many of my players,” Coppell told Sky Sports with a grin.

The mascot wears a Reading uniform over a giant lion costume.

chris.foster@latimes.com