In a pinch, the police take sides Morning briefing

Apparently the Brits will do anything to distract their opponents in soccer.

The secretary-general of the Croatian national soccer team was arrested at Gatwick Airport in London minutes after the team had arrived to play England in a Euro 2008 qualifying game when workers at an airport stationery store thought he was shoplifting pens and paper.

Zorislav Srebric wandered into the store, according to the London Daily Mail, and after picking up the items wandered out to help organize his team before paying.

Store employees summoned police. Srebric was later released without charge.

“Staff had caught an elderly, chubby man apparently pinching pens and paper,” a police source told the paper. “There were loads of sporty men hanging around and some of our lads recognized them as the Croatian national team.

“When Srebric gave his name and said he was the head of the Croatian FA, we were stunned.”

The distraction tactic failed. Croatia won, 3-2.

Trivia time

When Texas and Texas A&M; play each other in football today, it will be the 114th meeting between the two teams -- among the most played of all Division I rivalries. What is the most played?

A different tune

One of the newest off-Broadway hits is a comedic musical revue called “Chuckleball” that parodies athletes.

“We go for the smarter joke,” says Jason Goldstein, one of the show’s creators. “We are a pure fun show, but with some sort of commenting on sports and what goes on.”

Among the skits is a Barry Bonds imitator singing “I Love to Play in San Francisco” to the tune of Tony Bennett’s “I Left My Heart in San Francisco,” with the lyrics changed to reflect how San Francisco fans were willing to overlook the steroids scandal during Bonds’ home run chase.

Another is a skit called “Me and Pacman Jones” that parodies the legal troubles of Atlanta Falcons player Adam Jones, and there is a “California Dreaming” skit sung by a Joe Torre imitator contemplating the Dodgers’ managerial job.

On deaf ears

South Carolina football Coach Steve Spurrier was backtracking this week after telling reporters that the team’s “attitude stinks.”

Spurrier said he met with the team and told them what he said came out wrong.

“I said something in the press conference Tuesday that I didn’t say correctly,” Spurrier said. “I meant to say that our effort level is what stinks.”

Although judging from the reaction of his players, Spurrier could have said just about anything and they probably wouldn’t have known.

“I don’t know if any of the guys knew that he had said it,” quarterback Blake Mitchell said. “I don’t know how many of them actually read what people write.”

Bare-ing down

The New York Daily News reported that the New York Jets would begin cracking down on fans near Gate D at the Meadowlands if they continue their notorious halftime custom of peppering women with insults and suggestions to perform lewd acts.

“The unsavory activity turned truly ugly at Sunday’s Jets-Steelers game when one woman appeared ready to oblige the hooligans’ lewd requests to bare her breasts, but then changed her mind,” the paper reported. “As she walked away, the denizens of Gate D pelted her with plastic beer bottles and spit at her.”

Trivia answer

Lehigh and Lafayette have played each other 143 times dating to 1884.

And finally

Major League Baseball announced Wednesday that it would auction off memorabilia from the 2007 postseason.

Among the items are the usual -- bats and balls and uniform jerseys -- as well as the unusual.

How unusual?

A can of bug spray used by the Yankees during Game 2 of the American League Division Series when bugs attacked pitcher Joba Chamberlain is up for sale.

And you thought you didn’t have any good ideas for your Christmas list.

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peter.yoon@latimes.com