The meaning of gay marriage

Re “Limits of ‘marriage,’ ” Opinion, Dec. 4

I couldn’t disagree more with Robert Epstein’s logic in regard to gay marriage. He believes short-term, lightly committed unions should be afforded the same rights as long-term, deeply committed relationships. The whole point of any marriage, be it gay or straight, is that the two people involved are making a statement to society and the legal system that they want their union to be considered permanent.

The fact that too many people’s unions end up less than permanent should not be the catalyst for denying the opportunity to a couple, gay or straight, who would like to give a permanent union their best shot. It’s called marriage.

Kelly Davis

Huntington Beach

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Epstein says gay marriage adds “nothing except the label.” One would think that he would know the importance of emotions like love, of healthy self-esteem, of strong family units and of civil and equal rights in society. But the only place Epstein uses the word “love” is in referring to his wife. The rest of his article is focused on technicalities.

At first, I too thought it was just a technicality when I got married to my partner of 13 years, but I was wrong.

After being given the right to marry -- something I believed I could not have in this lifetime -- I was amazed at how I felt about our relationship. I was even more amazed at how family, friends, co-workers and neighbors responded.

While Epstein wants us to think that gays are pushing him toward “greater tolerance of the unfamiliar,” I believe we are striving for the familiar -- the right and the ability to fall in love and marry just as my parents did 58 years ago. As the old song goes:

“Love and marriage, love and marriage,

Go together like a horse and carriage.”

Dan Spencer

Palm Springs