An 'iPhone 5' for unhappy fans of food porn

An ‘iPhone 5’ for unhappy fans of food porn

By Deborah Netburn

Aug. 21, 2012 12 AM PT

&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;Yo, Apple rumor mill followers: Stop obsessing over how many pins will be in the new dock connector of the &amp;lt;runtime:topic id=”PRDCES00000002”&amp;gt;iPhone 5&amp;lt;/runtime:topic&amp;gt;, where the microphone will be located, and how much bigger the screen will be&amp;nbsp;and prepare to laugh at yourself.&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;On Monday, New York comedian Adam Sacks uploaded a &amp;lt;a href=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIRBxRlsYR0&amp;amp;feature=player_embedded”&amp;gt;video&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; to YouTube with the tantalizing title “LEAKED&amp;nbsp; Official Apple iPhone 5 Promo Video- Keynote 2012.”&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;Sounds too good to be true, right? Well, it is. The video is not real, but that doesn’t mean it’s not funny.&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;And it isn’t just the Apple rumor people who Sacks is skewering—it’s also those banes of our modern existence—the people who won’t stop taking pictures of the food they eat and posting them to Facebook and &amp;lt;runtime:topic id=”ORCRP00010280”&amp;gt;Twitter&amp;lt;/runtime:topic&amp;gt; and other social media sites.&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;”Before designing the iPhone 5, we studied how customers use their iPhones and we discovered something interesting: People only use iPhones to take pictures of their food,” says a young man in the video identified as a vice president of design for Apple. “They are sad and alone and so they use pictures of food to create an illusion of a fulfilling life.”&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;Then he debuts the iPhone 5, which looks like a camera, not a phone. He gives some stats and then adds:&amp;nbsp;”These pictures look so good that nobody would ever imagine you lie awake at night wondering why you can’t feel happiness.”&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;The VP also adds that Siri has been redesigned too. Her primary purpose? To put fun captions&amp;nbsp;on your food photos.&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;”Chickpea salad. Nom, nom, nom. I am happy.”&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;ALSO:&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;a href=”http://161.35.110.226/business/technology/la-fi-tn-iphone-5-pics-20120821,0,2555926.story”&amp;gt;More pictures emerge as iPhone 5 launch reportedly nears&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;a href=”http://161.35.110.226/business/technology/la-fi-tn-google-users-think-california-is-great-awesome-and-liberal-20120820,0,5211132.story”&amp;gt;California according to Google users: Great, awesome, liberal&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;a href=”http://161.35.110.226/business/technology/la-fi-tn-early-facebook-investor-peter-thiel-sells-off-majority-of-shares-20120820,0,4204614.story”&amp;gt;Early Facebook investor Peter Thiel sells shares, makes $1 billion on $500,000 investment&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;Follow Deborah Netburn on &amp;lt;a href=”https://twitter.com/#!/DeborahNetburn”&amp;gt;Twitter&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt; or &amp;lt;a href=”https://plus.google.com/u/0/109675776633752908527/posts”&amp;gt;Google+&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;

An ‘iPhone 5’ for unhappy fans of food porn

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