Britney Spears in talks to pen a novel based on her adventures

Which concept seems more likely, a Britney Spears novel or a Justin Bieber sex doll?

OK, next question: Which concept seems more terrifying?

With both of them in the news Monday and Halloween solidly in the rear-view mirror, we’re choosing to expand first on the novel, thankyouverymuch, as the other frightens us too much.

Spears, who last week saw a nasty defamation and breach of contract lawsuit against her family and conservators tossed out for lack of evidence, is reportedly in talks with a HarperCollins imprint to pen a novel based on events in her own life.

PHOTOS Celebrities by the Times

Her rep confirmed “discussions” to the Hollywood Reporter, which first had the news.

Spears’ journey from child star to international superstar to reality-TV judge, with that major meltdown somewhere in the middle, seems ample fodder for at least one book, if not a trilogy, saga or pop-culture/tabloid encyclopedia.

Snooki’s “A Shore Thing,” we hope this ain’t.

And about the Bieber-esque sex doll, since we presume you haven’t gotten that out of your mind ...

Let’s just note that it’s unauthorized, inflatable and comes courtesy of a company whose “Super Star Series” also offers a Jennifer Lopez, a Paris Hilton, a Kim Kardashian, a Katy Perry, two versions of Lindsay Lohan and three Jessica Simpsons.

There’s no Britney available on the company’s website currently, though that was reportedly in the works back in 2008 — set to blow up right after Brit melted down.

ALSO:

Britney Spears is engaged to marry Jason Trawick

For Justin Bieber, loyal Beliebers may be the best birth control

Britney Spears sheds meltdown-era home, gains a co-conservator

Follow Christie D’Zurilla on Twitter and Google+. Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Twitter @LATcelebs and on Facebook facebook.com/ministryofgossip.

PHOTOS AND MORE:

PHOTOS: Celebrity portraits by The Times