‘Hopelessly dated crapfest’: Critics weigh in on ‘Mother’s Day’
When critics feel passionately about a movie, their writing sometimes seems elevated, as though the words come more easily and they’re tapping into the pure critical center of their brain.
Unfortunately for “Mother’s Day,” it may not have solicited the type of critical passion it was looking for.
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The third film in the Garry Marshall holiday film series (after “New Year’s Eve” and “Valentine’s Day”) has garnered abysmal reviews. On review aggregation website Metacritic, the movie has earned the second-lowest score of the year, a robust 17 on a 100-point scale.
The bright side of these scathing reviews is that they’re absolutely hilarious. Here are some of the best barbs lobbed by exasperated reviewers.
Offensively stupid, shamelessly manipulative, ridiculously predictable and hopelessly dated crapfest.
— Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times
Oof. Going for the jugular right off the bat. Hey Roeper, save some adverbs for the rest of us.
‘Mother’s Day’ doesn’t feel like a movie so much as it does a cinematic adaptation of Walmart.
— David Erlich, indieWIRE
It¿s like a nightmare in which you are trapped in an endless Kmart aisle of horrible holiday cards.
— Peter Keough, Boston Globe
That’s two separate reviews likening the film to a discount department store. On one hand, Wal-Mart makes $480 billion a year. Maybe “Mother’s Day” will be so successful! On the other hand, Kmart.
But not every critic loathed the film. Some were absolutely lukewarm about it.
Suprisingly watchable.
— Randy Cordova, Arizona Republic
Impossible to take seriously, but easy to take.
— Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle
See? They kind of liked it! Maybe other reviews will agree.
Your mom deserves so much better this Mother’s Day.
— Katie Walsh, Chicago Tribune
Maybe not.
‘Mother¿s Day’ imagines a universe in which every human being on the planet is connected and no one is particularly witty.
— Matt Singer, ScreenCrush
It feels as though the film’s creator has never met actual humans before.
— David Sims, The Atlantic
A two-hour movie so forgettable that I’m not convinced it actually exists.
— Moira Macdonald, Seattle Times
Yeah, that’s actively bad.
‘Mother’s Day’ is garbage, but it’s a wholesome type of garbage they just don’t make anymore.
— Jordan Hoffman, Guardian
So at least “Mother’s Day” has that going for it.
Even the ensemble’s native English speakers approach their dialogue in the stilted, uncomprehending manner of people behaving under the possible influence of nerve gas.
— Justin Chang, Los Angeles Times
Even we weren’t immune from this movie’s particular charms. Read Justin Chang’s full review of “Mother’s Day” here.
If you do decide to venture out to catch a movie this weekend, consider “Mother’s Day.” It seems to bring out the best in people.
Follow me on Twitter @midwestspitfire
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