'Dancing With the Stars' Latin Night recap: Just add heat

By Allyssa Lee

April 30, 2013 12 AM PT

What has sparkles, lots of bare skin and emits more heat than a bedazzled chili pepper? Latin Night on “Dancing With the Stars” of course! And Week 7 came in two parts. First, each of the remaining seven couples danced a Latin dance to a Latin song. Then, the couple with the highest score in that round received immunity (a first in the “DWTS” glitterverse), while the remaining six couples had to dance it out in either a rumba, cha-cha, or jive dance-off. To the victor: Three more points to their total!

In case there was any question as to the theme of the night, Colombian pop star and memoirist Juanes lent his Spanish-speaking stylings to the two-hour performance event, playing during commercial breaks and performing “La Camisa Negra” while some of our pros and the Troupe hoofed it to Louis Van Amstel’s choreography.

Who felt the beat to the Latin rhythm of the night, and who failed their Latin course? Who ended up getting a 5 from a particularly harsh judge? And who ended up with the highest first-round judges point total and ended up winning the immunity idol for the week?

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That would be Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough. Because in the event of a tie, immunity is awarded to the couple with the highest number of cumulative points. The country singer had a tough rehearsal week, with three concerts and rehearsing four dances for the week.

But Derek Hough refused to dial back the choreography. He still wants to make sure they have a three 10-worthy samba. And they got pretty darn close with this Ricky Martinized routine, with Kellie shaking her bon bon like a pro and doing a very cool leg-up twist that betrayed none of the rehearsal’s hesitation.

No wonder it got that shower of confetti at the end. Carrie Ann, however, gave Kellie a similar critique to last week. “When I watch you dance, I see perfection in every single move you do … BUT I don’t feel you when you dance,” she said. “I feel like it’s so pristine that it lacks emotional content.”

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Usually stoic Len, however, thought the whole thing “was crisp and clean and hot and spicy,” he said. “You got the how of the technique and the wow of the performance.” Bruno said Kellie shook his bon bon. “That was a perfect balance of technique and performance,” he crowed. “Everything you could want from a samba was in there.”

Derek issued an apology for grandma and grandpa in the audience for showing too much skin. But now that they’ve been awarded immunity, Derek can keep his shirt on and he and Kellie can relax all through Tuesday night’s results show knowing they’ll move on to next week. Total: 29 out of 30.

Which was the same score Alexandra Raisman and Mark Ballas had achieved. Aly and Mark wanted to spice up their salsa a bit to avoid competing in the immunity challenge. But they shook things up a little too much and almost put Mark out of commission.

Dr. Goldstein at Cedars-Sinai Spinal Center said Mark either sprained his back or injured his lower disks. So Aly had to practice with the taller Henry Byalikov (I keep wanting to spell it “Bialykov,” maybe only to make him even more delicious, like a bialy) in case her pro partner wasn’t fit to play come game time.

Mark recovered enough to perform on Monday night, and he and Aly whipped up a tasty fruit salad of a salsa with a lot of maracas shaking. Bruno called it a “tutti-fruity delicious cocktail of tropical flavors, perfectly shaken,” he exulted. “More of those please!”

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Carrie Ann said this was the Aly she always knew was in there: “You nailed it.” Len said it was like “a tequila sunrise: It was sharp and fruity, it was tasty and refreshing.” The head judge, however, wanted “a little more recognizable salsa” with that shake. Aly and Mark got their first two 10s of the season for a total of 29. And then they all but stole their extra three points when they chose to dance-off cha-cha against Andy Dick and Sharna Burgess. Total: 32.

Now, I was convinced that Zendaya and Valentin Chmerkovskiy would be the ones to break the tie and score a perfect 30 and be issued immunity. After all, they were performing last in the line-up — always known as the pimp spot. And they were dancing the paso doble — the hard-hitting dance where the man is the matador and the woman plays the cape. I mean, come on. Val eats intensity for breakfast! Zendaya is light and lithe like a cape! And I thought their routine was completely brave for starting on opposite sides of the floor — her with castanets and two acoustic guitar players, him with his shirt open on the other end — and using a slow burn to circle each other, and really give into the interpretation of the dance.

But the judges weren’t completely sold on Zendaya and Val’s performance. Len felt he was there at the bullfight — “That dance had attack, it had aggression, [but] you had your chin down on occasion,” he said. Bruno particularly liked “the flamenco beginning,” but told Zendaya to take care on her top line and keep her chin up: “Sometimes you lost it a little bit.” Carrie Ann said Zendaya’s “lines are gorgeous, and I thought it was beautifully portrayed,” but said the routine “was a song without the bass line.” Zendaya and Val scored three 9s for their efforts.

Undeterred, Z&V; went on to the dance-off round and chose the also highly ranked Jacoby and Karina for their dance-off (they would have selected Kellie and Derek had they been in contention). And I love Zendaya and Val for doing this to truly make this a best of the best competition.

Of course, jumping Jacoby chose the jive. And good golly Miss Molly, both performances were great. Jacoby relied a little more on his exuberance and natural charm, though his choreography seemed a bit off the cuff, but Zendaya had the jive in the bag with that orange fringe number and those impeccable kicks and flicks. Still, it was a great show and a great battle, and I loved how Val and Jacoby did those side-by-side splits in good sportsmanship at the end. Total: 30.

The Baltimore Raven had never done the salsa before, but it’s filled with hot and spicy and fun and so is he. Snap-a-doodles! Karina Smirnoff had Jacoby lift her all over and back again. And he was just so watchable with this dance, which started on the stage with some shakes and bongos.

“Was that an earthquake, or did you rock this place?” wondered Len. The head judge, however, said he could have done with a few less lifts, prompting Jacoby’s mom in the audience to warn “I got my eyes on Len tonight.” Bruno said Jacoby’s hips don’t lie. “The fiesta has begun!” Carrie Ann was so effusive with her praise that it came out of both ends. Carrie Ann let it rip: “What you do is you get down and dirty and you just dance,” she said. Total: 27.

Ingo Rademacher wants his rumba to be as hot as a fiery chili fed to him by Kym Johnson. And despite feeling awkward and almost embarrassed with his hip action, Ingo was determined to use his romantic “white knight” “General Hospital” character, Jax, for inspiration.

And the setting certainly set the “Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights” mood, with Kym in caliente red and Ingo in a half-opened button down and khakis. And while I wanted to get swept up into the Santana and Rob Thomas-fueled mood, I found myself distracted instead by Ingo’s ginormous shoe heels and thoughts of whether his straw hat was part of the Gavin DeGraw collection (answer: no, because it came off during the performance). Peanut wanted the crowd to keep applauding. “The intention was good, but the hips need a lot more work,” Bruno said sadly.

Carrie Ann thought the form was good, but “you missed the fluidity,” she said. “And then what lacked was the sensuality and the connection.” Len likened Ingo to the Lakers. “You give it your best shot, but you didn’t deliver at the end.” Ingo said Jax would have given it straight 8s, which apparently caused Bruno to lose his paddle (and thereby “joining the marbles he lost in Season 1,” said Tom). Ingo and Kym only received a 22 for their rumba, but by the grace of Peanut Ingo was able to smooth up his performance in the Battle of the Blonds Dance-Off Rumba against Sean Lowe and Peta Murgatroyd, which ended up winning them an extra (much-needed) three points. Total: 25.

Sean Lowe and Peta Murgatroyd needed to redeem themselves after last week’s simmer under the heat lamps of the bottom two.

Though the Bachelor was having problems mustering up romantic sexytime feelings for Peta. So Peta brought in fiancee Catherine to practice the moves, so Sean would be able to channel that love with Peta.

Only, Sean ended up running his hands up Catherine’s chest and suddenly “DWTS” went from PG to M for Mature. But the partner swapping worked, and Sean totally channeled his inner Enrique Iglesias and became Peta’s hero, baby. “Well well well, Sean! Who’s the hero now?” Carrie Ann enthused. “Tonight, the music was like pulsating through you.” Len said they were like a match: “Peta was hot, he was quite wooden.”

The head judge also wasn’t a fan of Sean’s flapping hands. Bruno, however, thought Sean was “a vision in great: 50 shades of Sean,” he crooned. “You were all out there. Your musicality was so much better, your extensions were better than ever.” Total: 24.

Ooh, Andy Dick and Sharna Burgess wanted to re-create that great “Singin’ in the Rain” sequence between Gene Kelly and Cyd Charisse for their rumba. And while Bruno had wished he could unsee it, I appreciated the attempt to pay homage to the musical classic. I thought the comedian would be good to play the dorky character attempting to woo the fancy lady – first with his dance steps, and then with jewels.

Sharna told Andy that he needed to be sexy, but Andy told her to be careful: “Don’t get mad at me if you fall in love with me.” He needn’t worry with the judges. Len liked the fun, entertainment value, and enthusiasm, “but to be honest … it was more erratic than erotic,” he said. “There wasn’t enough hip action, there wasn’t enough musicality.”

Bruno wished he could push an erase button on the whole thing. “At the moment, what you’re doing, you’re doing steps,” he said. “The steps have to flow through the body.” Carrie Ann’s cuts were the cruelest of all. “I know you want to improve … you need to not forget about your arms,” she said. “Work on making the arms consistently part of the dance.” But then she slapped him down with an unusually cruel 5 paddle, which felt like a sucker punch. Who gets a 5 in Week 7? “That gives me the old sour face,” Andy pouted. But Andy turned that frown upside down for a really solid effort in his dance-off cha cha against Aly and Mark. There was no way he was going to win this round, but he should definitely get points for giving it his all (and for supporting Aly throughout her performance). Total: 17.

What do you think, ballroom fans? Enjoyed Latin Night and the dance-offs? Who do you think will sashay off into the sunset come Tuesday night? (Between you, me, and these three cameras, I think Sean might not get his dancing rose.) Should any dance be likened to passing gas? Should Bruno lose his paddles more often?

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