Stephen Colbert begs media to give King Richard III some privacy

For the last few days, King Richard III – dead now for more than 500 years – has briefly managed to overtake Kate Middleton as England’s most-Googled royal, but not everyone is thrilled by the incredible news.

Stephen Colbert, for one, thinks we ought to leave poor ol’ Dick alone.

“All of us in cable news have an obligation to bring you the latest news most relevant to your life. So let’s get to the story everyone’s talking about: The fall of the house of York,” he said Tuesday on “The Colbert Report.

Colbert joked that the discovery of King Richard’s remains in a grocery store parking lot “explains why his famous last words were, ‘My kingdom for a Hot Pocket.’”

He also noted that Richard III is remembered as an “infamous villain,” thanks mostly to that famous Shakespeare play whose name he couldn’t quite remember, he’s also historically significant as the last of the Plantagenet kings.

As exciting as the news is, Colbert admitted to feeling a little “disturbed” by the “ground-penetrating radar” used to locate the bones.

“Really? Is there no limit to how far these paparazzi will go in violating British royals’ privacy?” he wondered. Calling the situation “shameful,” Colbert wondered why the press felt the need to disrupt King Richard’s “well-deserved, 500-year, underground vacation.” And the situation is only likely to get worse, Colbert predicted.

“You know the next time his body leaves a limo, they’ll be trying to get an up-femur shot.”

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