Prince Charles’ ears: Stephen Colbert fears for royal baby George

Already proving himself to be one publicity savvy baby, Prince George Alexander Louis came into the world late enough on Monday that most late-night shows weren’t able to fully lampoon the media circus surrounding his birth.

By Tuesday, it looked like the wee prince might have to compete for air time with “Carlos Danger,” a.k.a. former congressman and current New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner. Happily, though, the gods of comedy smiled upon the world Tuesday, with the disgraced politician’s latest Internet foibles coming to light late enough that the prince would get his due.

Other news stories, though, not so much, as Stephen Colbert observed Tuesday on “The Colbert Report.”

FULL COVERAGE: Royal baby born

“Big story tonight, everybody,” he began. “Over 500 Al Qaeda leaders have escaped from Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. With Iraq facing over a thousand sectarian killings a month, experts fear the country is plunging once again into a bloody civil war. For more, go someplace else, because there’s a royal baby!”

After playing footage of the bouncy-haired Duchess of Cambridge unveiling her bundle of joy to the world, Colbert warned his female viewers that the former Kate Middleton had sparked yet another new trend: “Ladies, this is the new standard for what you must look like less than 24 hours after giving birth. Smiling, glamorous, hair perfect, radiant and fresh. Step up your game!”

But, Colbert predicted, the bonnie prince might not be quite so pleasing to the eye, should he inherit “the Queen’s eyes, Prince Charles’ ears, and an Englishman’s teeth.” So just how will the future king look, according to Colbert’s projection? Without giving too much away, let’s say he he’s more “my precious” than “precious.”

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