Two Guys Lose Weight: You don’t win friends with salad
NOTE: This is a blog about two guys attempting to lose weight over a six-week period. They kicked off their weight-loss “strategies” on Jan. 10.
I screwed up and thought I had a bunch of cookies stashed in my desk. I ate the first one upon arrival and come lunch I slid my desk drawer open and there was none left in the bag.
So for the first time in over a week I was going to eat something other than one cookie for lunch.
I knew this was wrong. I knew I should have been more prepared. But the Cookie Diet woman had just told me that, in the second week if I wanted to “split up” my serving of protein into 4 to 5 ounces at lunch and 4 to 5 ounces for dinner with a salad, then that would be fine.
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Never before had I used the small plastic box for any of my previous salads, but because I felt guilty I threw some lettuce, chicken breast, and garbanzo beans into a tiny container, paid $3.33, and devoured it at my desk.
And magically it filled my belly for the rest of the day. Maybe it knew it had just received a treat.
When dinnertime came, however, I ordered the half chicken from Zankou, which turned out to be a mistake because once I took it out of the foil it didn’t have a chance. One chicken breast is all I am allowed but the wing, the leg and the breast were gorged in a sloppy mess of passion.
Not a good start for a weekend that most likely will involve drinking, and not the one-calorie type.
And salads? It’s fine to cheat on the diet with a salad, but salad may get cheated on this weekend because as Homer Simpson so poignantly said, “You don’t win friends with salad.”
Homer Simpson: “All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say ‘Yo Goober! Where’s the meat?’ I’m trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don’t win friends with salad.”
I may have been able to slide through one weekend without imbibing but at some point someone’s going to ask, “Where’s the beef?”
Which means Friday I have to be especially good: just six cookies and a small portion of protein.
And then the gym.
The goal is to be under 160 by Tuesday.
RELATED:
Two guys lose weight: The journey
The beginning of the Cookie Diet
In his quest to lose weight, Jimmy summons Maverick from “Top Gun.”
