Gay-marriage advocates: ‘This is the way it should be’

Todd Barnes, a 49-year-old gay man and general manager of the Abbey, a well-known gay bar in West Hollywood, was married to a woman for six years and came out at 35.

He said coming out to his wife was one of the most difficult things he’s ever done.

Upon hearing the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals’ decision Friday -- that same-sex marriages could resume in California -- Barnes had excitement in his voice. He hadn’t expected the court to act so quickly.

DOCUMENT: Court order dissolving stay

“I’d say the sooner, the better,” Barnes said, laughing with joy. “There’s no reason to wait. I say let’s have the weddings today.”

He added, joking, that people who thought they had 25 days before a decision would have to hurry up and find someone to marry.

Jim Key, spokesman for the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center, said he was elated but shocked by the news.

“This is the way it should be,” he said. “We have been waiting for more than 4 1/2 years now for marriage equality, and nobody should have to wait a day longer than necessary.”

“It was a bit anticlimactic having to wait at least 25 more days after the ruling.”

Key said that ever since the court of appeals ruled on Proposition 8, people have called from all over Los Angeles, offering to donate champagne and wedding cakes to help the center host community weddings in its courtyard.

He’s been waiting for nearly three years to take them up on the offers.

But when the Supreme Court ruled Wednesday that same-sex marriages could continue, Key began to plan for a celebration still 25 days away.

“We never expected the court to move this quickly,” he said.

Key added that the center would now expedite its efforts but probably will not be able to host weddings this weekend because of the short notice.

Barnes said he thinks there will be a surge of marriages as soon as they’re possible. He has numerous gay friends who are engaged.

“Why wait?” he said. “There’s going to be a rush.”

The Abbey has been the site of many wedding proposals, Barnes said. There have even been people who have come out of the closet to their parents at the bar, he said.

In 2008, the Abbey held a big wedding ceremony for several gay couples. Staff members will meet early next week to plan another one, he said.

Barnes said he thinks that now that marriage is a concrete possibility, it will make gay dating more serious: that people will think about their boyfriends or girlfriends as potential spouses, people with whom they can have a family.

“In a gay man’s mentality, you’re with the person you’re with for the time being, and there will be another one who comes along,” he said. Now, he said, people in relationships will have to truly consider whether that is the person they want to spend their lives with.

The Abbey was full right until closing after Wednesday’s Supreme Court rulings. It opened at 6 a.m. Wednesday and closed at 2 a.m. Thursday — still with a full crowd. The atmosphere was jubilant, he said.

“It was crazy,” he said. “It was like gay pride all over again.”

His bartenders were on their feet so long they were aching, he said, but they were excited to be there that night. He emailed them the next day, telling them how proud he was of their work.

“It felt like we were a part of history, and to throw this huge party for the LGBT crowd and their allies, it was wonderful.”

“We went through a lot of Champagne,” he said. “I had to make another order for this weekend because they drank it all. People were happy. They just wanted to celebrate.”

ALSO:

L.A. Council extends LAFD plan to staff extra ambulances

Search for San Diego Zoo stork is ended; bird feared dead

Heat wave settles over Western U.S., bakes Southern California