Column: Welcome, Matt Gaetz, to Cameo, land of the GOP has-beens
Did you see that former U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz, who lasted less than a Scaramucci as President-elect Donald Trump’s pick to run the Justice Department, has a new side hustle? He’s now offering customized videos for a fee to fans on the website Cameo.
I mean, why not? Politicians are well versed in the art of selling themselves. And Gaetz is currently unemployed, having decided not to return to Congress even though he was reelected this month.
It seems almost quaint that 35 years ago, former President Reagan raised eyebrows when he received $2 million for two speeches in Japan shortly after leaving office. At the time, a dismayed Chicago Tribune columnist wrote that the news “strikes the nostrils with the force of week-old sushi.”
Turns out the Gipper was a trailblazer. These days, with the glaring exception of St. Jimmy Carter, who once said, “We give money. We don’t take it,” all former presidents cash in on their office. It’s not like they’re gonna get rich on a president’s salary!
With his team full of accused sex offenders, it’s understandable that many young women consider it a red flag if their male partners identify as MAGA Republicans.
On Cameo, Gaetz, who withdrew from consideration for Trump’s Cabinet amid allegations that he had sex with a 17-year-old girl (which he denies), will personalize a one-minute-ish video message for anyone willing to shell out 500 bucks.
That is on the high side for Cameo, where a message from, say, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin can be had for $199, from former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich for $100, and from Anthony Scaramucci — the Mooch himself — for $59. Former Republican New York Rep. George Santos, a convicted fraudster who was expelled from Congress, commands $250. Even U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert made a brief appearance, charging $250 and up, before someone on her team realized that it might violate congressional ethics laws. Go figure.
Disgraced former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, who has offered his services on Cameo for the last several years, is not available right now, but you can send him a message for $19.99 or watch some of the videos he recorded before bowing out. A highlight of my visit to the site was watching Giuliani woodenly recite the nursery rhyme “I’m a little teacup” for a boy named Tim.
Gaetz’s introductory note on Cameo is short and to the point: “I served in Congress. Trump nominated me to be US Attorney General (that didn’t work out). Once I fired the House Speaker.” (That dig at former Speaker Kevin McCarthy, just the latest in their ongoing war of words, is payback, presumably, for McCarthy recently declaring that “everybody knows” Gaetz would not be confirmed by the Senate.)
In any case, Gaetz is at your service for birthdays, anniversaries, promotions and pep talks.
Here’s part of what he told a couple named Jack and Grace:
“I love marriage. I’ve been married, I guess I am in my fourth year now. And marriage is an incredible institution because you get to have, like, a specialization of skills. Here’s what I mean by that: For me, booking an airline ticket is a hellscape, right? You gotta have all the numbers, you gotta go through all the window pages. My wife is a total wizard at that stuff. And then I’ve learned in marriage there are certain things I’m super good at, like taking out the trash, doing the dishes, killing the bugs, cleaning around the house. Actually come to think of it, she’s pretty much using me as a maid. But I will do that, and marriage, you know what, you just get rewarded by it and comforted by it, so I wish you all the happiness in the world.”
For a man who is still basically a newlywed, you’d think he’d have something a little more inspiring or romantic to share.
Transgender people are the vulnerable ones in the halls of power, not a threat as Mace, Marjorie Taylor Greene and others treat them.
I confess, I do not understand the impulse to be addressed on video by a famous person I’ve never met and who would probably not give me the time of day if I encountered him on the street. I seem to lack the starstruck gene.
My work has involved interviewing famous people from all walks of life — Hollywood, Washington, etc. When I am not on the clock, my general policy is to ignore celebrities every bit as much as they ignore me. I once slipped years ago when I saw Donald Sutherland walking on a foggy Santa Monica beach one winter morning and involuntarily blurted out, “Well, look at you!”
Occasionally, I might approach a well-known person if we have some sort of connection.
This happened last spring at a Starbucks in Malibu, when I introduced myself to Caitlyn Jenner, whose ghostwriter was once engaged to a close friend of mine. Her Trump endorsement on social media had just gone viral. She was pleasant and chatty. Oh, and she will record a Cameo video just for you for the not-so-low price of $2,500.
At a moment when trans people are being vilified by MAGA Republicans trying to score political points with the base, I find it refreshing that one Caitlyn Jenner is worth five Matt Gaetzes.
Bluesky: @rabcarian.bsky.social. Threads: @rabcarian
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