REEL CRITICS

Like Pinocchio, a mechanical boy wants to become a real child so he

will be loved by his parents. Unlike Pinocchio, “A.I.” is a grim,

hopeless tale set in a future still recovering from a devastating global

flood. Though Steven Spielberg directed the film, he is bringing to life

Stanley Kubrick’s vision and style. Quite a radical departure from

Spielberg’s other creations. If you are not a die hard fan of Kubrick,

stay home.

David is a mecha (machine) created for mommies and daddies who have

lost a child. David is the first of his kind, created with the ability to

love unconditionally. Mechas that love humans are somewhat risky, because

humans exhibit a strong prejudice against mechas, although no cause or

reason explains why. In addition, David can only have one set of parents

and will be destroyed if they decide not to keep him. Why they can not

reprogram the mecha is never explained.

David is sent to the home of Henry and Monica whose son, Martin, lies

frozen and entombed waiting for a cure of some deadly disease. After a

trial basis, Monica decides to keep David, having him irreversibly

programmed to love her forever. Monica and David have a great time, just

the two of them, mother and son laughing and playing. Not for long.

Monica’s real son, Martin, wakes up from the coma and returns home to

recover. Martin does not like David and sets out to get the mecha out of

the house and out of their lives. It’s accomplished all too easily.

Rather than have David destroyed, Monica decides to dump him in the

woods where he panics, screams, cries, pleads and begs mommy not to leave

him. Haley Joel Osment (“The Sixth Sense”) does a very good job at

capturing the emotions and actions of a child in that situation.

David stumbles upon a fresh dump site of other unwanted, mechas. They

are a motley bunch, disfigured, damaged and pretty well beaten

emotionally. It’s also the time David is befriended by Gigolo Joe, a

lover mecha. David and Joe have a near death experience at a carnival

where the main entertainment is putting mecha’s to death using a myriad

of grisly techniques. Actually they kind of snap, crackle and pop when

they fizzle out.

After they escape, David gets Joe to help him become a real boy. If

this happens, his mommy will love him again and take him back home.

Having read “Pinocchio,” David decides to find the Blue Fairy to change

him into a real boy like she changed Pinocchio. Joe and David set off in

search for the fairy in a segment bearing a strong resemblance to the

“Wizard of Oz” where they encounter Mr. Know, who, of course, knows

everything.

Mr. Know points David toward New York where he can find the fairy. In

reality David is being sent back to where he was created. But he runs

into another mecha that looks and sounds just like him.David can’t handle

discovering he is a robot, one among hundreds. Despondent, he throws

himself into the sea and there he discovers a submerged Coney Island with

a Blue Fairy statute that he proceeds to pray to. He asks the Blue Fairy

to turn him into a real boy, asking over and over again until over time

his computer chip runs down. Two thousand years pass before he is

discovered by aliens or perhaps they are evolved humans. Everyone on the

planet is long since dead, the entire planet is frozen over in ice.

In a scene straight out of “The Twilight Zone,” the beings read

David’s mind, recreate the home he lived in with his mommy and set about

to study and observe him. They want David to be happy so they answer all

his wishes as best they can, except being able to make him a real boy.

“A.I.” is a story that might have been a hit 30 or 40 years ago,

before a time we knew computers would not be intelligent like humans. The

moral issues glazed over here concerning the prejudice and treatment of

the mechas -- so similar to racial prejudice -- fails to touch any nerve

or generate any interest. There are no heroes in the movie. There is no

hope in the movie. All the qualities that made “Pinocchio” endearing are

removed.Not a movie for kids, too creepy. Strictly a movie for fans of

Stanley Kubrick.

o7 Rated PG-13 for some sexual content and violent images.

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* PEGGY J. ROGERS, 39, produces commercial videos and documentaries.

‘Crazy/Beautiful’ boring from the beginning

“Crazy/Beautiful” is simply boring/awful.

Usually, I wouldn’t resort to such a painfully bad cliche, but the

movie doesn’t hesitate, so why should I? This is the bottom of the

barrel. A stilted, corny, melodramatic mess of a movie that splits at the

seams as you watch it.

The filmmakers acknowledge this every time they attempt to patch a

glaring flaw with a hip rock song that will no doubt appear on the

soundtrack. The music acts as a story Band-Aid: Have a scene that doesn’t

make sense? Insert music. Have a character whose actions lack motivation?

Insert music.

“Crazy/Beautiful” retreads well-covered ground: misunderstood teenage

love. Is there any other kind? Nicole (Kirsten Dunst) is a

self-destructive rich girl who seeks escape in drugs, alcohol and

promiscuity. She’s alienated from her congressman father (Bruce

Davidson), who since the suicide of Nicole’s mother, has remarried and

fathered another child with his shallow, materialistic second wife, who

wants Nicole out of the picture (think evil-stepmother).

Poor, misunderstood Nicole. But, fear not, for help is on the way in

the form of Carlos (Jay Hernandez), an ambitious Latino from the wrong

side of the tracks who gladly wakes at the crack of dawn to bus across

town so he can attend the posh Pacific High, a school that can improve

his chances of attending Annapolis and fulfilling his dream of becoming a

fighter pilot.

Nicole and Carlos’s attraction is supposed to be electric, but, like a

lot of moments in “Crazy/Beautiful,” even though you’re told how to feel,

you simply don’t feel it. I’m not saying every teen romance film has to

reinvent the genre, but it should at least have a compelling story and

decent writing.

Of course, it’s no surprise when cultures clash and the two families

want the relationship to end. Carlos’ family doesn’t want Nicole to

distract him from his dreams.

Nicole’s father, a self-proclaimed man of the people who proudly shows

off a photo opportunity with Jimmy Carter, offers to write Carlos a

recommendation to Annapolis . . . if he stops seeing Nicole. This is one

of the few interesting twists; he knows his daughter is a sinking ship,

and considers his offer a life preserver for Carlos’ future, not

blackmail.

Dunst, Davidson and Hernandez are consummate actors, but their skills

can’t save a script this egregious. This had to be a quick pay check for

all involved. I cringed when Davidson’s character claims to understand

the hardships of Carlos’s life, “I’ll bet you’ve seen a lot of la vida

loca growing up. It’s not just a Ricky Martin song.” Ugh!

o7 Rated PG-13 for mature thematic material involving teens,

drug/alcohol content, sexuality and language.

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* ALLEN MacDONALD, 28, is currently working toward his master’s degree

in screenwriting from the American Film Institute in Los Angeles.