COMMUNITY COMMENTARY -- Mark W. Hart

The Newport Harbor Area Chamber of Commerce picked the wrong guy to

chair the Christmas Boat Parade of Lights, or maybe not?

First of all, it is not the whole chamber that decides anything

important. As with any company, it has a board of governors, secretaries,

treasurer, etc., but it also has the Inner Sanctum known as “The

Commodores.”

I am willing to bet that the majority of the chamber’s members have no

clue as to how to become a member of this Commodore Club. I don’t think

there is an application form available from the front office or know if

there is a list of credentials at all.

I do know it helps if you went to USC and/or your parents did. It also

helps if you are well-connected in real estate locally, but especially if

you are both.

Having some sort of celebrity status is also a big plus. Being

involved on the right side of local politics can be celebrity enough, I

think, as long as you can get published by the Pilot. The general

membership of the chamber does not vote for policeman or fireman of the

year, and has no say in who was the best of anything really.

It’s the general membership’s job to either get their employees

involved and to mingle at various chamber-sponsored get-together

functions -- networking I suppose it’s called -- or it’s the active

members’ job to make sure their bosses pony up for various projects the

chamber needs in order to realize more revenue. The former feeds the

latter. It’s deviously clever.

The icing is that the chamber can then mobilize these networking

troops to volunteer at the various functions the Inner Sanctum has

decided on.

The Commodores are in charge of the Christmas Boat Parade. The parade

generates hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars, for the

local economy as people from all over the place pack our town to view it,

have parties all around the harbor and fill all the restaurants and bars

with a front seat. It is a great occasion.

It has been noticed, understandably, that the actual boat owners, who

not only donate their boat, their time and the huge expense of running

these machines, but actually pay a fee to the chamber to do so, get a bit

tired of doing it seven nights in a row. Having done it a few times, I

can attest to how demanding it is.

The chamber, plus the powers that be, brought up a plan to shorten the

parade to five nights. I think most people could be convinced that the

five-night idea could float. People could cram it into five nights and

there would not be the falling off that has been occurring later in the

week.

Where the increased planning has come undone is not the shortening of

the number of nights, but also the shortening of the parade itself. Whole

areas become affected, entire streets, some of them very expensive

streets, are expected to participate only if they bundle themselves and

their guests up and run over to the “other side” to catch a glimpse,

leaving their champagne to get warm (beware open container) and the beef

Wellington to get cool.

“Why did you pay $4 million for your house, dahling? The boats are

refusing to go by,” owners will hear. “Is it because of the war?” they’ll

be asked. What can be said in reply?

Well, the Newport Harbor Area Chamber has the Commodores and they are

in charge and they appointed Brett Hemphill as chairman. Hemphill, one of

the Daily Pilot’s top 30 or so men of the year, fully enjoyed last year’s

position as the chair of the parade (I don’t remember hearing last year

that it was the work of “a bunch of volunteers” as quoted on Saturday’s

front page), but this year has perhaps realized that there are actually

whole families affected by the proposed change of route, a lot of them,

and that they have let him know their feelings.

Not trusting Costa Mesa’s finest to protect his business (he could

always call Newport), the adverse publicity and, apparently, a threat has

caused him to resign.

Not to worry. The Inner Sanctum will take care of things. They always

have.

* Mark W. Hart is a Newport Beach resident.