Be vigilant, even among scholastics

STEVE SMITH

So Howard Stern gets fined, booted off a whopping six radio stations

out of his zillion and we’re supposed to believe that the Federal

Communications Commission has finally grown a spine.

Fining Howard Stern for inappropriate language is like citing Dale

Earnhardt, Jr., for speeding. You may as well have thrown Muhammad

Ali in jail for assault or written up the Beatles for disturbing the

peace.

As a parent, I’m not overwhelmed by the fact that Stern has a

trashy show. He has been doing it for many years and only now and

then has he appeared on the radar singled out for a fine or severe

tongue-lashing. I don’t buy Stern’s George Bush conspiracy against

him, but I do believe that if this were not an election year, he

wouldn’t have gotten a fine or have been removed from six stations.

There are other trashy shows on the radio and I don’t care much

about those either. Why? Because I know what to expect and I keep

that station off the radio in my car and at home. Likewise, PG-13

movies are screened before my kids can see them.

What I object to, as I wrote a few weeks ago, is being ambushed,

having inappropriate words and pictures flung at my kids from places

where I least expect them and therefore do not give me a chance to

monitor their content.

These surprise attacks -- usually in the name of the right to free

speech -- remove from me the right to parent my children as I see

fit.

Janet Jackson’s pitiful half-time show was one ambush. The

magazines in the neighborhood grocery store are another. Provocative

billboards are another.

Now, the school district has provided yet another.

It came into my 11-year-old son’s life a few days ago in an order

form for books from Scholastic Reader, a mail-in program that allows

kids to purchase books for some pretty good prices.

He gave us the form and told us he’d like to order some books by

the Friday deadline. But when I opened the form to page two, I saw a

picture of a man and woman locked in an embrace. His right hand was

high up on her thigh. The picture was the cover of a book called,

“Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights” and for only $3.95 my son could read

about Katey, George and “a connection with a boy that she’s never

felt before.” Doesn’t elaborate on whether Katey has never felt the

connection or never felt the boy.

Or he could go to page three and order “The True Meaning of

Cleavage,” in which “Sara is obsessed with snagging a popular

senior.” “Snagging” ... now there’s a euphemism I haven’t heard in

awhile. Then there’s “Bad Girls in Love” in which Margalo has a crush

on her teacher and “Mikey,” a girl, has a crush on “super-hunk

Shawn.” The copy asks, “ ... will these two girls get their men?”

So is the translation for “Bad Girls in Love,” “ ... will these

two girls sleep with their men?”

I called the Scholastic headquarters in New York and was

transferred to Judy Corman, the senior vice president for corporate

communications. All you public relations wannabes, pay attention

here.

“You are not the first person to call in about this,” Corman said.

“We absolutely know what is appropriate and we made a mistake. It was

a terrible error on our part.”

Corman went on to say that they have age-appropriate versions of

the form, but this missed the cut. She went on to offer a refund, to

express that she hoped it had not affected my son and that they “care

about the trust of parents.”

There are several lessons to be learned here. First, when you see

someone or something trying to influence your child in a way that

makes you feel uncomfortable, speak up. You must speak up, even if

yours is the unpopular voice and your kids cringe while saying, “Oh,

Mom!”

Second, remain vigilant. Always, always, always remain vigilant

because the surprise attacks are coming faster and faster at your

kids.

Three, when you screw up, as Scholastic did, own it. Fess up, say

you’re sorry and mean it.

* STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and a freelance writer.

Readers may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at

(949) 642-6086.