Sideline Chatter: Dressing like a Viking isn’t worth $20,000 per game

See what you’ve started, Kam Chancellor?

Ragnar the Viking the bearded, motorcycle-riding mascot of Minnesota’s NFL team missed his first home game in 21 years Sunday over a salary dispute. Joe Juranitch, the man inside the costume, was seeking a whopping 1,230 percent raise from the $1,500 per game he was getting to $20,000.

We say “was seeking,” because the Vikings told Ragnar to make like a quarterback and take a hike.

Headlines

At SportsPickle.com: “Report: Chip Kelly worried Eagles’ struggles could keep Texas Longhorns’ offer below $8 million a year.”

At TheOnion.com: “Dolphins coaches trying to fix Ndamukong Suh’s quarterback-throwing mechanics.”

Big, big problem

The Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus agreed to phase out the elephants in their shows next year.

“If it were only that easy,” said the Red Sox, referring to Pablo Sandoval.

Speaking of circuses ...

A minor-league game involving the Tampa Yankees was canceled due to a giant circus tent behind the center field-fence.

Making it the first time the words “Yankees” and “circus” appeared in a sentence without either “Steinbrenner” or “A-Rod” in it.

Don’t press your luck

Selfie-related incidents have caused more deaths this year than shark attacks, according to a recent survey.

Just to be safe, experts advise, avoid taking selfies while surfing.

Oh, Calcuttas

Chicago residents filed a complaint after a strip club rented a golf course next to a kids playground and played, shall we say, a skins game.

Well, that’s one way to get little Johnny off the Xbox to go outside.

Keeping it holstered

“Terrell Owens says Cowboys should give him another shot at age 41,” read the headline at FoxSports.com.

“No comment,” said Plaxico Burress.

Quote marks

Times reader Bill Littlejohn, after a Texas high-school kicker’s PAT attempt bounced off the umpire’s head and went through the uprights: “Who needs the Groza Award when you can get the Canseco?”

Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch filmed an entire Pepsi ad without speaking: “Out of habit, Roger Goodell fined him.”

Comedy writer Alan Ray, on the Pirates’ pitching staff: “They have nastier stuff than a Lil Wayne song.”

WSU lecturer Mike McLaughlin, via Facebook, on the AP news alert announcing that “Yankees Hall of Fame catcher Yogi Bear has died”: “They made a boo-boo.”

One-man force?

John Krahn, a 7-foot, 440-pound lineman for King High School in Riverside, Calif., told MaxPreps he wants to be a policeman.

Long arm of the law? No kidding.

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