Adding to the List of Presidents

Joshua Cloner, a reference librarian at East Los Angeles Library, says a ninth-grader asked him for a book about “Howard Eisen,” a famous American.

After finding no trace of such a person, Cloner wondered if the student might be searching for a former president.

When she said yes, Cloner realized she meant Eisenhower, Dwight D.

HOWARD EISEN WOULD UNDERSTAND: Loyola Marymount received a letter from a prospective student who seemed to think the school was named after the dean of admissions, or vice-versa (see accompanying).

WHY JOHNNY CAN’T SHOOT STRAIGHT: And, finally, the last item in our back-to-school issue involves six Dallas-area teachers who were suspended after giving students a joke mathematics test.

The exercise included such crime-related questions as, “Johnny has an AK-47 with an 80-round clip. If he misses six out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?”

Why bring up this Dallas incident? The test was titled: “City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency Exam.”

POMONA FREEWAY PIZZA? Car phones and car faxes--they’re primitive these days. Dan Kaplowitz of Whittier came across an ad for what appears to be a car breadmaker/doughmaker for those long, hungry commutes (see excerpt).

IF YOU DIDN’T INHALE, MAYBE YOU’LL REMEMBER . . .: A mention of the 1960s term “Bogarting” in this column has stirred some debate. Readers seem to agree that it referred to one person depriving another (or several others) of a puff on a joint of marijuana. But how the term related to actor Humphrey Bogart’s handling of a cigarette is a bit hazy.

Rondo Perkins said, “You would pass the already burning joint and the guy next to you would just hold on to it and let it burn away instead of passing it on”--as Bogart used to hold his cigarette.

But Claude Hattan insists that “Bogarting” referred “to the stylish way that Humphrey stubbed out his cigarettes in the movies . . . “Bogarting’ definitely meant putting out the joint prematurely.”

Then there’s Ari Feinberg who says it reflected Bogie’s “trademark manner of having a cigarette dangling from his lip . . . “

Still no word from President Clinton.

YOUR COLUMNIST FEELS LIKE A BLOCKHEAD: Rex Malcolm of Woodland Hills takes issue with the accusation here that a misspelling was contained in the construction sign that showed a brick hitting a hard hat and making the sound “Blang.”

“The event creates a ringing sound that is very different from the sound of a gunshot or a door slamming, which can be heard as ‘bang,”’ Malcolm writes. “The ‘l’ is even more likely to sound if the hat is aluminum or some other metal. Contact me if you’d like to borrow a concrete block and a hard hat for a personal ‘blang’ experience.”

Concurring with Malcolm in this case were readers Claude Hattan and Lloyd Peyton.

Harvey’s judgment is overruled.

miscelLAny

My colleague Cary Schneider was in the East recently and noticed that the Washington Post listed the health code violations for restaurants in Pasadena and Glendale. A warning for tourists heading West? Actually, Pasadena and Glendale are cities in Maryland. Hope you got a blang out of this item.