Who Needs Harvard? Huge Parking Lots Are Driving Force at This School

I don’t know why Easterners poke fun at Southern California when this area clearly has such a vibrant culture -- well, a vibrant car culture anyway.

Judy Lynes of Woodland Hills came upon a Pierce College brochure listing reasons to attend the school. No. 4 was: “Huge parking lots.”

Lost in time: Daniel J.B. Mitchell of Santa Monica says that when he dined in a Westside restaurant the other day, “this note appeared on each table” (see accompanying).

Observed Mitchell: “An interesting question is whether they are celebrating 11 months too early or one month too late.”

Unclear on the concept? Donna Athens of Ventura passed along a shot that her daughter Karin took of a driveway that evidently couldn’t keep a secret (see photo).

Such a deal: Referring to one holiday ad, Helen Playfair of Santa Clarita said:

“Just what I want for Christmas -- pre-lit hair.”

Today’s shocker: “Seems like wine-tasting clubs are attracting younger segments of the population,” concluded R.D. Sisemore of Los Alamitos after seeing one headline (see accompanying).

Attacking L.A.: One plot of the TV show “24” involved an effort to stop a terrorist’s nuclear bomb from exploding in L.A. So what else is new? When it comes to disaster epics, scriptwriters are serial stalkers of L.A. Look at what they’ve put the City of Angels through:

* “War of the Worlds” (1953): Martians wipe out City Hall and much of the city before the air kills them.

* “Earthquake” (1974): The Big One brings down Capitol Records et al.

* “Miracle Mile” (1989): Only the tar pits survive a nuclear attack.

* “The Big One: The Great Los Angeles Earthquake” (1990): A TV movie becomes a real disaster (I’m referring to the script).

* “Independence Day” (1996): Space aliens level L.A. again, but not before one TV anchor tells the populace: “The LAPD is asking Los Angelenos not to fire their guns at the spacecraft.”

* “Escape from L.A.” (1996): A 21st century quake (Hey, that’s this century!) allows L.A. to secede from the San Fernando Valley, which goes under water.

* “Volcano” (1997): Lava sweeps across L.A., prompting one character to utter the memorable line: “Better take the freeway; Wilshire looks pretty bad.”

MiscelLAny: The police log of Laguna Beach’s Coastline Pilot reported a complaint about a man who had fallen asleep at the beach -- on a chess board. Guess you could classify that as a sort of knightmare situation.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.