Emmys 2013: Even super-host Harris can't save mostly lifeless show

1/20

From “Breaking Bad’s” big win to the world’s shortest acceptance speech, here’s a look at some of the best and worst moments from the 2013 Emmy Awards. (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

2/20

E!’s red carpet coverage has pioneered such red carpet firsts as the finger fetish-izing “Mani-Cam,” but this year’s addition, the “Glamazoom,” may be the least inspiring yet. The camera allows E!’s red carpet experts to zoom in on the details of any starlet’s Emmy ensemble and really be able to critique it with maximum effectiveness. We can only hope that deep within the E! channel’s bunker, there is a J. Robert Oppenheimer-like figure, wracked with fear and remorse over the red carpet innovation he has unleashed upon the world. (Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images)

3/20

Aside from all the blah-blah-blah, occasionally, a true, interesting moment transpires in front of the cameras on the red carpet. In this case, it was “Big Bang Theory” star Jim Parsons meeting “Behind the Candelabra” star Michael Douglas for the very first time. Douglas went out of his way to praise Parsons and tell him how much his children enjoyed watching his show. Parsons, visibly taken aback said, “You’re so nice.” Douglas replied, “No, I’m not.” Right away, Parsons replied, “Well, you’re not mean.” Great comeback and part of the reason Parsons keeps winning these things. (Jason Merritt / Getty Images)

4/20

Guliana Rancic asked newlywed Aaron Paul, nominated for his role in “Breaking Bad,” about what viewers would see if E! were to do a reality series about Paul’s first year of marriage to wife, Lauren Parsekian (pictured). Paul attempted to answer as honestly as he could, but did we mention his mom was standing right there? She was. (Jason Merritt / Getty Images)

5/20

CBS almost had a messy situation on its hands when the NFL game between the Jets and the Bills nearly ran into the scheduled Emmy broadcast time. What dedicated awards fans could have been thinking when they switched over from E! to find football encroaching on their glamour-ama is anyone’s guess. Crying? Swearing? Gnashing of teeth? Yet somehow, as if by magic, the game ended just one minute before 5 p.m. PDT. (Rich Schultz / Getty Images)

6/20

After several sterling Tony Awards hosting jobs, everyone seemed primed to see him bring that same magic to the Emmys. Sadly, NPH (second from right) is only a mortal. Same as you and me. And like you and me, he stumbled his way through an awkward and interminable opening film and monologue that was extended to painfully unfunny lengths through the addition of four former Emmy hosts (including, from left, Jane Lynch, Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon). (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

7/20

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler heckling from the audience: “Take your pants off! Twerk!” and Kevin Spacey channeling his Frank Underwood role from “House of Cards” were clever and fun highlights. (Robert Gauthier/ Los Angeles Times)

8/20

It’s rare that the first award of the night offers up the best speech, but in this case it’s true. Supporting actress in a comedy series winner Merrit Wever was visibly shocked when she won the award for her role on the Showtime series “Nurse Jackie.” So shocked, in fact, that she gave one of the all-time great acceptance speeches: “Thank you so much! Um -- I gotta go. Bye.” In three sentences, she earned the respect of every award-weary performer in Hollywood. (Kevin Winter / Getty Images)

9/20

The Emmys are a celebration of TV, which is nice because most everything on TV is archived in some capacity. So it was an odd choice to not air a single moment of footage of the late Jonathan Winters during his tribute. Instead, Robin Williams spoke eloquently about the man and even performed a bit of one of his most famous routines. It’s nice that Williams has such clear memories of Winters, the rest of us will have to make due with Williams’ Winters impression. Or Rob Reiner’s best Archie Bunker. (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

10/20

Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Tony Hale carried their characters from “Veep” up on the stage for Dreyfus’ win for actress in a comedy series. Hale, who had just won for supporting actor in a comedy series, stood behind, holding her clutch and whispering acceptance speech suggestions, such as “You love them so much.” If only more performers brought their characters on stage with them, maybe people wouldn’t dread award speeches so much. (Kevin Winter / Getty Images)

11/20

Tonight’s mid-Emmy restroom/snack, brought to you by Elton John, came at an inopportune moment for CBS. For while Sir Elton was lulling the Nokia Theatre audience asleep to the tune of his new Liberace tribute song, the at-home audience was discovering that the penultimate episode of “Breaking Bad” was starting right at that moment. Hey, where did everybody go? (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

12/20

Laura Linney didn’t attend the Emmys, and surprise, surprise, she won the award for lead actress in a miniseries for “The Big C: Hereafter.” Getting in a slight dig, presenter Matt Damon told the crowd, “She’s such a great actress, she didn’t even need to show up.” That’ll teach her. (Chris Pizzello / Invision / AP)

13/20

“Homeland” writer Henry Bromell died earlier this year, so when it was announced that he had won the Emmy for best writing in a drama series, his widow came to the stage. Visibly moved, Sarah Bromell kept her remarks very short but very affecting. (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

14/20

Here’s where we say something about how host Neil Patrick Harris seemed obligated to do a song-and-dance number for the Emmys and, therefore, did a song called “This Is the Number in the Middle of the Show,” which seemed uninspired and dull. And then we wrote something about how it didn’t seem like anyone really cared enough to put their hearts into it. And neither did we. (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

15/20

Bobby Cannavale was up against Mandy Patinkin, Aaron Paul and other great actors for the supporting actor in a drama series. But Cannavale was the surprise winner for “Boardwalk Empire.” His gushing, astonished, self-effacing speech was better than the usual canned emotion given out by long-expected winners. (Chris Pizzello / Invision / AP)

16/20

There’s nothing like giving an award to an underdog to get some good TV. For best actor in a drama series, most thought it would go to Bryan Cranston, Kevin Spacey or Damian Lewis. But no, it was Jeff Daniels, starring in the polarizing HBO drama “The Newsroom,” who won. And just to prove how much he didn’t expect it, Daniels came on stage chewing gum. “Well, crap,” he said, by way of acceptance. Indeed. (Frederic J. Brown / AFP / Getty Images)

17/20

The Emmys decided to pay tribute to the 50th anniversary of 1963 this year, which included such Emmy-worthy moments as the JFK assassination. It also celebrated the 50th anniversary of the Beatles’ American TV debut on “The Ed Sullivan Show,” which technically happened in 1964. To pay tribute, singer Carrie Underwood performed the Beatles’ hit “Yesterday,” which actually didn’t come out until 1965. (Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

18/20

Michael Douglas’ personal life may be a little rough these days (he recently separated from wife Catherine Zeta-Jones), but he was in rare form when he came to the stage to accept the Emmy for lead actor in a miniseries or movie for playing flamboyant piano-playing superstar Liberace in the HBO movie “Behind the Candelabra.” Referring to his co-star and onscreen lover, Matt Damon, Douglas quipped, “This was a two-hander, and you’re only as good as your other hand. Matt, you deserve half this. You want the bottom or the top?” (Kevin Winter / Getty Images)

19/20

The final few minutes of any marathon awards show can find most people a little punchy. Maybe that’s why Will Ferrell’s bit about coming on stage in shorts and T-shirt with his three kids in tow went over so well. Claiming that he was a last-minute presenter to announce the winners of best comedy series and best drama series, the Ferrell clan stole the show. (Chris Pizzello / Invision / AP)

20/20

“Modern Family” won the Emmy for best comedy series, and “Breaking Bad” won for best drama series. Neither show was a surprise win, but “Family” executive producer Steve Levitan summed up the feelings perfectly with his speech: “This may be the saddest Emmys ever, but we couldn’t be happier.” (Chris Pizzello / Invision / AP)

By Mary McNamara, Los Angeles Times Television Critic

Sept. 23, 2013 7 AM PT

This is what we get for saying that television has eclipsed film as an art form: an Emmys that was just as bad as most Oscars.

Though hosted by über-showman Neil Patrick Harris and marked by the sort of dark-horse upsets (Jeff Daniels for lead in a drama!) and overdue wins (Stephen Colbert, twice!) that usually energize a telecast, the 65th Primetime Emmys was dead. Literally and figuratively.

Although still hostier than most mere mortals, Harris seemed off his game Sunday night. A mildly amusing opener centered on a binge-watching bit (so many TV shows to catch up with!) that segued to an onstage “argument” with former hosts. Between a sketch chronicling his struggles with “Excessive Hosting Disorder” and a self-acknowledged random “Dance Number in the Middle of the Show,” Harris seemed to be suggesting that he’s done as much as he can do with this gig.

Emmys 2013 full coverage: Best & worst moments | Winners and top nominees | Red carpet video

But it was an over-commitment to the dead that made this “the saddest Emmys ever,” as “Modern Family’s” Steve Levitan quipped, outstanding comedy trophy in hand.

The decision to give separate “In Memoriam” tributes to five television academy members did not just

disrespect the other important figures who had also died last year, it dragged down the whole show, forcing the audience to follow moments of celebration or amusement with dutiful sorrow.

Emmys 2013 full coverage: Quotes from the stars | Show highlights | Red carpet arrivals

Indeed, death quickly became an unintentional leitmotif. Musical guests Elton John and Carrie Underwood both crooned mournful ballads (Underwood chose “Yesterday,” John a new song honoring Liberace). Don Cheadle marked the 50th anniversary of the assassination of John F. Kennedy with heartbreaking film clips, there was a more traditional “In Memoriam” montage, and a very moving posthumous win for “Homeland” writer Henry Bromell.

With winners careening from predictable repeats (Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jim Parsons) to complete surprises (“Nurse Jackie’s” Merritt Wever, “The Newsroom’s” Daniels, “Boardwalk Empire’s” Bobby Cannavale), the telecast gathered such bipolar steam that it seemed particularly fitting when Claire Danes won for her psychologically challenged CIA agent in “Homeland.”

Harris, strangely, did nothing to acknowledge this beyond making a joke about how many people were losing their Emmy pools. He seemed to have been hired more as featured entertainer than host; he starred in another dance number featuring the “Emmy Gold Dancers” (who knew? ) and in a long, pre-taped clip interviewing the dancers and choreographers, who then danced interpretations of various nominated shows as an introduction to the outstanding choreography (again, who knew?) category.

Emmys 2013 full coverage: Timeline | Photo booth | Emmys presenters

This while virtually every actual winner got played off before finishing their universally brief acceptance speeches.

There were some good moments. Get enough talented people in a room for three hours, with alcohol, and something watchable will eventually occur. Kevin Spacey saved the opener; while hosts of Emmys past argued onstage, he addressed the camera as his nominated and nefarious “House of Cards” character.

And Wever, the night’s first and clearly overwhelmed winner, should receive an additional Emmy for her acceptance speech: “Oh, my God. Thank you. Thanks so much. I gotta go. Bye.”

PHOTOS: Best & worst Emmys 2013 moments

Louis-Dreyfus, obviously quite confident that she would win, accepted her trophy in character, down to the appearance of fellow winner Tony Hale, also in character, helping her through her speech.

Bob Newhart kept appearing, and you just can’t get enough of Bob Newhart (although the fact that he just won his first Emmy ever — at last week’s Creative Arts Emmys, for a guest role on “The Big Bang Theory”— calls into question the veracity of the whole shebang).

Colbert seemed as happy as we were that he won — and called his wife “cruel and sexy,” which was very cool and sexy.

VIDEO: Interviews from the red carpet

Daniels was so surprised by his win that he arrived at the podium with gum visible in his mouth, and managed to deliver a perfectly lovely speech anyway.

Michael Douglas briefly stole the show by saying his was “a two-handed win,” a reference to laughter-convulsed costar Matt Damon, who played his lover in the Liberace bio-pic “Behind the Candelabra.”

Declaring his intention to split the statue in two, he looked Damon straight in the eye and asked, “Do you want the top or the bottom?”

But it wasn’t enough, not nearly enough to save a show that seemed determined to celebrate television without showing very much of it; even the “In Memoriam” tributes were all talk and few visuals. Instead of Harris’ self-referencing joke about host-fatigue, it would have been nice to see at least a few bits of the performances and shows that are indeed changing the nature of television.

There’s no shame in film clips, even if it means losing the Emmy Gold Dancers.

Especially if it means losing the Emmy Gold Dancers.

mary.mcnamara @latimes.com