Did you read Pete Wells’ review of Guy Fieri’s new restaurant?

Have you read Pete Wells’ New York Times review of Guy Fieri’s new restaurant, American Kitchen & Bar, in Times Square? Did it blow your mind when you realized the restaurant critic wrote the entire review in questions?

Did you guffaw at the menu item “Guy’s Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche”?

What about those Awesome Pretzel Chicken Tenders? They sounded gross, right? With their “shiny tissue of breading that exudes grease onto the plate”? Ew?

Tex Wasabi? Did you have any idea that Guy Fieri owned restaurants named Tex Wasabi???

Did you feel bad for the bleach-blond spiky-haired Fieri? And then did you want to go back and read it all over again?

And aren’t you still wondering exactly what Donkey Sauce tastes like?

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