“The system is rigged; Bernie Sanders never had a chance.”
No, that wasn’t a Bernie bro protesting outside the Democratic National Convention, it was Donald Trump finally officially accepting his party’s nomination on the final night of the Republican National Convention.
Veering from chant-prompting visions of a law-and-order America striding like a gun-slinging sheriff through a smoldering world run amok to a call to end the assault against the LGBTQ community, Trump cast a very wide net.
So wide that it took him almost 30 minutes of the longest acceptance speech on record to get back to his greatest hits: America comes first, Hillary Clinton is a disaster, NAFTA has to go, illegal immigrants are dangerous.
Then the crowd, which didn’t know quite what to do with the Sanders’ references, went wild.
Not only did the thematically hop-scotching speech provide the first glimpse of a “presidential” Trump, it offered the perfect end to the most bizarre race in Republican history and certainly one of the more unconventional conventions in recent memory.
As in the Republican race, nothing at the convention went as planned. All the talk of blocking Trump’s nomination came to naught, as, mercifully, did fears of violent protest. Melania Trump’s much anticipated speech went from triumph to plagiarism controversy in a matter of minutes. Anti-Trump House leader Paul Ryan caved but Ted Cruz didn’t. And though no one talked to an empty chair, the string of reality stars, minor-league celebrities and little-known motivational speakers brought its own sense of the bizarre.
Even before a self-described billionaire called himself the voice of the forgotten man, the fourth and final night doubled down on the convention’s commitment to expectation defiance.
Jerry Falwell Jr. got the ball rolling by recalling a dream his father had. No, not of a united America, but of Chelsea Clinton asking him to name the three greatest threats to this country. “Osama, Obama and yo mama,” he apparently answered. In this dream.
Congressman (as she prefers to be called) Marsha Blackburn explained that it was time for a citizen-politician president because: “Hurt feelings are not qualifiers for leadership; leadership is a record of performance.” She and Oklahoma’s first female governor Mary Fallin deepened the convention’s general air of national paranoia and America’s apparent near-suicidal depression. “Our spirits are nearly broken,” Fallin assured us.
Even Peter Thiel’s appearance was billed as one thing and became another.
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Balloons drop at the end of the the Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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With their families behind them, Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump and Vice Presidential nominee Mike Pence are cheered on by delegates at the close of the final day of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Delegates celebrate at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Donald Trump and his wife Melania at the close of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Donald Trump looks out across the crowd of delegates during the final night of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland last summer. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)
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Donald Trump speaks at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Donald Trump speaks during the final day of the 2016 Republican National Convention at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)
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Donald Trump address on the final night of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump takes the stage after being introduced by his daughter Ivanka Trump during the final day of the 2016 Republican National Convention at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland.
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Ivanka Trump speaks during the final night of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Ivanka Trump takes the stage during the final day of the 2016 Republican National Convention at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)
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Tom Barrack, former Deputy Interior Undersecretary in the Reagan administration, and CEO of Colony Capital, delivers a speech on the fourth day of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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California delegates cheer during the final day of the 2016 Republican National Convention at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland.
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On the final night of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, members of the Texas delegation enjoy the music.
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Former NFL star Fran Tarkington speaks during the final day of the 2016 Republican National Convention at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland.
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On the final night of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, the view from up high as the singing of the national anthem is completed.
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Six-year-old Heavenly Joy sings America the Beautiful in the Quicken Loans Arena on the final day of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Indiana delegate William Springer sports a GOP elephant hat on the convention floor during the final day of the 2016 Republican National Convention at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland.
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Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump appears on stage with his running mate, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, at the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Mike Pence and family at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Indiana Gov. Mike Pence speaks at the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Vice presidential hopeful Mike Pence delivers a speech on the third day of the Republican National Convention at the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland.
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Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich addresses delagates during third day of the 2016 Republican National Convention at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland.
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Eric Trump talks about his father, Donald, at the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump arrives at the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland on Wednesday night.
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Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump arrives at the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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A woman yells at Sen. Ted Cruz, asking him to endorse Donald Trump during the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Sen. Ted Cruz addresses the Republican National Convention on Wednesday in Cleveland. (Marcus Yam / Los Angeles Times)
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Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker on stage.
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Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin.
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Darrell Scott, senior pastor of New Spirit Revival Center Ministries, speaks to the convention crowd.
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Kentucky state Sen. Ralph Alvarado Jr. during his address.
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Eileen Collins, retired astronaut, greets the crowd at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Alabama and Oklahoma delegates enjoy the music during the opening of the third day of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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A news anchor reports from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Florida Gov. Rick Scott speaks on the third day of the 2016 Republican National Convention at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland.
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Laura Ingraham, radio host, takes the stage at the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Delegates watch a video titled, “The Donald I Know,” during the third day of the 2016 Republican National Convention at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland.
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West Virginia delegates during the Pledge of Allegiance during the third day of the 2016 Republican National Convention at the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland.
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Donald Trump, the Republican presidential nominee, flies into Cleveland for a rally at the Great Lakes Science Center.
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Republican Presidential Nominee Donald Trump, who arrived by Helicopter at the Great Lakes Science Center in Cleveland Wednesday morning, greets supports for a rally with his family and Vice Presidential Nominee Mike Pence and his family. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)
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Donald Trump and his running mate, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, arrive at the Great Lakes Science Center in Cleveland.
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Donald Trump Jr. on stage in Cleveland.
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Delegates shout “Guilty” in response to Governor Chris Christi’s indictment of Hillary Clinton.
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New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie delivers his remarks.
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A protester is surrounded and silenced by Trump supporters inside the convention.
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Kim Davis and the California delegation celebrate Donald Trump’s nomination.
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Donald Trump Jr.’s image appears on screens above Quicken Loans Arena as he addresses the convention.
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Ben Carson speaks at the Republican National Convention.
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Tiffany Trump speaks.
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House Speaker Paul D. Ryan acknowledges his home state of Wisconsin on stage in Cleveland.
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House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy of Bakersfield addresses fellow Republicans in the convention hall.
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California delegate Kim Davis cheers.
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Donald Trump Jr., left, celebrates with Eric Trump and other family members during the roll call that made their father the Republican presidential nominee.
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From left, Donald Trump Jr., Ivanka Trump, Eric Trump and Tiffany Trump on the convention floor. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)
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Delegates from Washington state.
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A delegate celebrates.
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House Speaker Paul D. Ryan recognizes the delegation from his home state of Wisconsin.
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Pennsylvania delegate Marianne Stearns with a Donald Trump doll. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)
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On Tuesday, the second day of the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump’s children bow their heads during the evening prayer. (Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times)
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Harmeet Dhillon, a California Sikh and a Republican national committee member, delivers the opening invocation on day two of the GOP convention.
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On the first night of the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump introduced his wife, Melania Trump, before she addressed the delegates.
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Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump with his wife, Melania Trump, at the 2016 Republican National Convention.
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On the first night of the Republican National Convention, Melania Trump enters the stage before speaking.
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On the first night of the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump introduced his wife, Melania Trump, before she addressed the delegates.
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On the first night of the Republican National Convention, Melania Trump asks for the delegates to pay tribule to former U.S. Sen. Bob Dole.
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Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani speaks at the 2016 Republican National Convention.
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Duck Dynasty’s Willie Robertson speaks at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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On the first night of the Republican National Convention, former Texas Gov. Rick Perry addresses delegates.
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New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie enters the arena.
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Delegates from Texas wave their hats in response to veterans.
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Delegates stand during the Pledge of Allegiance.
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Newt Gingrich during the Pledge of Allegiance.
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Former Sen. Bob Dole attends the convention.
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On the floor of the arena.
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Rep. Steve Womack (R-Ark.) listens to a voice vote on the adoption of the rules.
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California delegate Luis Buhler, center, joins delegates in singing the national anthem during the Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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A Florida delegate holds a sign on the first day of the Republican National Convention at the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland.
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California delegate Shari Clark of Stanton sports Converse high tops with a Trump theme on the floor Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Michigan Attorney General Bill Schuette speaks during the first day of the Republican National Convention at the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland.
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Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus directs delegates to conferences during the Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Barbara Finger from Oconto, Wis., wears a cheesehead hat during first day of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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Delegates bow their heads in prayer as the Republican National Convention gets underway in Cleveland.
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An agent guards the stairs up to the stage during the first day of the 2016 Republican National Convention at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland.
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Henry Allen, a Florida delegate to Republican National Convention walks around the convention floor with a sign at the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland.
(Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times) The Paypal founder’s intention to become the first openly gay speaker at an RNC convention led many to believe that he would chastise the party for its poor record on gay rights and this year’s extremely conservative platform. Instead, he prefaced his announcement — “I’m proud to be gay, I’m proud to be a Republican but most of all, I’m proud to be an American” — by dismissing the recent transgender bathroom controversy as a “fake culture war.”
But the evening’s ’“Up Is Down” Award went, in a split decision, to Reince Priebus, chairman of the Republican National Committee, and Ivanka Trump. In a masterful example of silk-purse manufacturing, Priebus turned Trump’s controversial and party-dividing win into a “grassroots” victory for the party that “listens to the voters.”
Ivanka, meanwhile, more than earned her walk-on music — “Here Comes the Sun” — by stirring Republican delegates to the point that they actually cheered for the notion of affordable childcare and gender-parity in the workplace.
But when she appeared to compare her father to Princess Diana, when she called him “the people’s champion” and “the people’s nominee,” well, in terms of spin and sheer rhetorical brilliance, that’s a perfect 10.
MORE ON THE GOP CONVENTION
Trump’s hop-scotching speech offers the perfect end to a bizarre race
Bernie Sanders slams Trump as he watches the Republican convention from home
Trump paints a grim portrait of the U.S. and casts himself as savior
